When I was 16, in 11th grade, I found myself changing. I was oftentimes angry and upset, and if I wasn’t, I was sad. But not a normal sadness- it was a sadness that made me feel empty, and alone, and it made me hate myself, so much that I took that hatred out on myself. I didn’t tell many people, but one. He brought happiness to my life and made me forget all of the bad in the world. He was my world, my safety, my peace. Taking those three and a half hour bus rides didn’t seem too long to get to him because I knew that the twenty-four hours spent with him, were worth the one hundred and sixteen miles.
We did that every weekend for two years. Going off Cape to my hometown for a day and a half was like going to a beach resort, sweet, not having a care in the world. And that’s how I felt with my ex-boyfriend Mike. We stayed up all hours until it was dawn and sleep in until the afternoon. We drove around singing in the car to pop songs, looking like absolute fools. We watched horror movies at 4 am with a huge bowl of salty popcorn and I was so afraid that the monster would come eat me so, I squeezed him tightly to me, because that’s where I felt safe.
He made me laugh, he made me cry, and most importantly, he made me love him unconditionally. I wish I could say that the story ended there, and that we lived happily ever after but that’s not how life works, unfortunately. I still remember walking through his garage door and seeing his parents smile at me when they saw me. Whenever we went down to the basement, his mother always brought us her freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and wow, did they taste like heaven. Even if it was doing absolutely nothing with Mike, I was probably the happiest girl on this earth and being in my hometown every weekend was like a dream to me.
Senior year came around the corner, and it was a lot harder. I had Mike by my side, which helped me tremendously but I didn’t see him much. So, I pretty much came home every day after school and put all my effort and time through my artwork, music, and writing. I really discovered who I am and what I want to represent in this world, and what I want to do with my future. I took many art classes throughout high school and I loved waking up in the morning and going to them. But sadly, summer 2014 came around quickly and Mike went away to camp in New Hampshire for two months so I didn’t see him once.
The day he came back from camp, he told me he no longer wanted to see me again because I lived here, and he lived there. It shattered my heart into a million pieces having to say goodbye to the one person who I thought would never hurt me. My main accomplishment this year was that I found that through all the pain I went through with Mike and me drifting apart, along with family issues and school drama, I relied on my creativity and music to get me through it and help me grow. Relationships end, and people change.
You can always turn the page of an art book and start fresh but you can’t change someone to make them love you from the beginning. So, as you may know, I knew this boy and he became my happiness and my home. But what I learned is that you do not make someone you’re everything and happiness because you don’t know how long you have them or when it will end. I now know I have to love myself before even thinking of loving someone else. So for now, music, my art, my family and friends are my home and I wouldn’t want it to be any differently than it is today.
Bibliography: When I was 16, in 11th grade, I found myself changing. I was oftentimes angry and upset, and if I wasn’t, I was sad. But not a normal sadness- it was a sadness that made me feel empty, and alone, and it made me hate myself, so much that I took that hatred out on myself. I didn’t tell many people, but one. He brought happiness to my life and made me forget all of the bad in the world. He was my world, my safety, my peace. Taking those three and a half hour bus rides didn’t seem too long to get to him because I knew that the twenty-four hours spent with him, were worth the one hundred and sixteen miles.
We did that every weekend for two years. Going off Cape to my hometown for a day and a half was like going to a beach resort, sweet, not having a care in the world. And that’s how I felt with my ex-boyfriend Mike. We stayed up all hours until it was dawn and sleep in until the afternoon. We drove around singing in the car to pop songs, looking like absolute fools. We watched horror movies at 4 am with a huge bowl of salty popcorn and I was so afraid that the monster would come eat me so, I squeezed him tightly to me, because that’s where I felt safe.
He made me laugh, he made me cry, and most importantly, he made me love him unconditionally. I wish I could say that the story ended there, and that we lived happily ever after but that’s not how life works, unfortunately. I still remember walking through his garage door and seeing his parents smile at me when they saw me. Whenever we went down to the basement, his mother always brought us her freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and wow, did they taste like heaven. Even if it was doing absolutely nothing with Mike, I was probably the happiest girl on this earth and being in my hometown every weekend was like a dream to me.
Senior year came around the corner, and it was a lot harder. I had Mike by my side, which helped me tremendously but I didn’t see him much. So, I pretty much came home every day after school and put all my effort and time through my artwork, music, and writing. I really discovered who I am and what I want to represent in this world, and what I want to do with my future. I took many art classes throughout high school and I loved waking up in the morning and going to them. But sadly, summer 2014 came around quickly and Mike went away to camp in New Hampshire for two months so I didn’t see him once.
The day he came back from camp, he told me he no longer wanted to see me again because I lived here, and he lived there. It shattered my heart into a million pieces having to say goodbye to the one person who I thought would never hurt me. My main accomplishment this year was that I found that through all the pain I went through with Mike and me drifting apart, along with family issues and school drama, I relied on my creativity and music to get me through it and help me grow. Relationships end, and people change.
You can always turn the page of an art book and start fresh but you can’t change someone to make them love you from the beginning. So, as you may know, I knew this boy and he became my happiness and my home. But what I learned is that you do not make someone you’re everything and happiness because you don’t know how long you have them or when it will end. I now know I have to love myself before even thinking of loving someone else. So for now, music, my art, my family and friends are my home and I wouldn’t want it to be any differently than it is today.
