College! Why is it such a big deal to go right in to collage! I understand, however I just don”t know what I want to do yet. I know I want to do something that has to do with criminal justice. As in the FBI. I just think that would be so cool. It would make me happy and I”ll get paid O.K. My plans were to graduate, then stay with my mom for a year and just work 2 jobs, maybe take a class at U.A.A. So, I can keep with the whole study thing. Oh, and I would go into the Air Guard also. They really help with collage. Then a friend and me would get an apartment and split the rent. I would then go to U.A.A for 2 years and after that I would transfer to the University of my Choice.
I got all of these ideas from my sister. I look up to my sister a lot. I learn from her experiences. She never took her SAT”s and she did really badly in high school. But, when she went to U.A.A she got really good grades then she transferred over to N.Y.U. It”s the 3rd hardest college to get into for her field! So, you know if she can do it so can I.
My father on the other hand! He thinks I should go to Grays Harbor Community College. And if I do, then I can live with him and he will pay for my BOOKS! If you don”t know, Grays Harbor is a really bad college, it is worse then U.A.A. Even if I wanted to go, my mom wouldn”t let me! I mean come on; he will help me pay for my BOOKS that”s a real help.
I remember one day I was in the truck with my dad and we were talking about colleges and he said “you can”t go to a good college like your sister, you just cant. You”re not like her. And, I”m sure as hell I”m not going to pay that much!” I told him I don”t expect him to pay for anything. My sister went through college without her dad”s help, so I can do it to. Every time I try and talk to him about the university that I”m interested in or when I tell him I want to be in the law or psychology field, he just changes the subject! He makes me so mad. Also, whenever I bring up any thing to do with collage he gives me this huge big guilt trip! Mom on the other hand, she gives me space to think of what I want. She is happy if I”m happy. I know I will go to college no mater what. I know I might have to pay for college my self and that”s fine by me! I don”t need my dads help. My mom on the other hand, helped Eva as much as she could. Eva”s school cost $34,000 a year and that”s what my mom makes in a year.
So you do the math. I learned from my sister! Loans, grants, scholarships, apply for ALL of them! Even the little scholarships. They ALL add up. My counselor makes me feel like I have to go strait into my university right after I graduate. She really wants me to take my SAT”s. I guess I will, but if I do, then I”m going to take them as many times as I can. I want to be able to choose the best score and if there good enough then I will send them to colleges. My mom says I don”t have to take them and that makes me feel a little better. I”m just really worried that I”m not going to do well. I like my SAT class. I really do. The part that I like the most is the tests that tell me what I would be good at. It reassures me. But that”s all I really like about it. Other than that I feel like I”m being rushed. Like I need to be in a big hurry.
I”m really in no rush to graduate. I know that sounds really weird but hay its a free education. I have been here since I was in 7th grade. I feel really comfortable here! For a long time all I could think about was getting out of high school. Now all I think about are the things I”m going to miss. In college there”s not going to be a lounge were all of you friend are going to be siting and conversing. A place where you can find out all the latest news. There isn”t going to be any thing like that. What I really hope is that there is going to be a good teacher that I can talk to. That is one thing I really like about Steller. If you have a problem, the teacher and your counselor are going to listen. They really care. I”m afraid that at my university there just not going to have time for me.