My friend never had an easy life. She has been through a lot throughout her life. She wasnt abused physically, but definitely mentally and emotionally. I know her like the back of my hand and she knows me like that also. Were practically the same exact person. I think her problems started occurring in 2nd grade when she saw her mom get slapped in the face by her dad. She didnt realize how bad that was until she grew older (shes 15 at the moment). Her parents fought CONSTANTLY, and they did it so often that their children fought a lot too. Their family mostly communicated by yelling and fighting with each other.
They never learned how to solve their problems the correct way which was calmy. In 3rd grade, when she was 7 turning 8 years old, her mom, little sister and older sister were kicked out of their house by her dad and were forced to live in a shelter. The shelter was for women that had problems with their husbands, and of course most of the women there had children. She had to share a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment with two other women. My friend spent her 8th birthday in a shelter with her two sisters. They ended moving back with their dad ,but her mom and dad still fought.
In 3rd grade, my friend, her mom and little sister were at her sisters very first horseback riding lesson. While her sister was in her lesson, my friend and her mom sat on a bench and watched. As they watched my friend really wanted to ride horses too. She asked her mom and she said, Yeah sure honey or something similar to that , but to this day she NEVER got her a lesson. In 6th grade, thats when things got very hectic for her. She was at her grandparents house while her dad was out somewhere (at the moment she was living with her dad). She told me that she was watching t. v. when her mom came to her grandparents house.
She REALLY didn’t want to see her. I forgot why, but she didn’t want to. Her mom tried to hard to talk to her ,but she refused to listen or talk to her. She started to run down her grandparent’s hallway and into a bedroom to try and lock her out. She slipped and fell to the ground as she ran. Her mom tried to help her up and talk to her, but she didn’t want anything to do with her. She ran into her grandparents living room and her mom grabbed her arm and fell to the floor and tried dragging her away. Her grandparents helped her and her mom was crying and asking what she did wrong. (She did a lot of wrong things).
She told me that her mom left her grandparents house She called her dad and told him what happened and he came home right away then called the police. The police arrived at her grandparents house and as they crowded her asking what happened, all she could think about was her mom. How could a mother treat their daughter that way. She said that she always asks herself that. Her 7th grade year got a little harder. Her parents were divorced in November of 2010. In May of 2010, she said she saw her dad push her mom and then threw their wedding book on the floor with ITS OVER! May 2010 on the cover of it. The thought of it still breaks her heart.
I think the hardest thing for her was seeing two people that ONCE loved each other and give life to three beautiful daughters, stop loving each other in a little to no time at all. Of course she is still a little upset about it, but she knows that it was the right thing to do. The process of a divorce is tough: who do you live with, what are the visitation rights, custody of the kids, child support and constantly going in and out of court houses. She would do one week with her mom then one with her dad. She liked the schedule ,but hated it at the same time. Her parents would talk bad about the other one.
They would make it so hard to her to go home to the other parent because they both resented each other and tried getting to each other through their kids. When she went to her moms house, she would give reasons why she should live with her permanently. Her dad wouldn’t do it as much ,but when he gave reasons, they were good ones. Her dad got remarried on April 14th, 2012. That was a good day for my friend because she was so happy and even cried happy tears. Although it was hard seeing her dad with a woman other than her mom she was still happy for him. She was just happy that he was happy with his new life.
She was also very happy to have a loving and caring stepmom. In 8th grade, her and her stepmom got super close. During that time period, her mom was around, just not as much as my friend would have liked. In 9th grade she kept in contact with her mom, but was only around when it was convenient for her mom. She began to realize how badly her mom treated her. She was being mentally and physically abused by the ONE person she thought would NEVER hurt her in a million years.
I feel so bad for her because even though she was being abused by her mother, she always went back to her. In 9th grade, she asked her mom if she could have about $17. 0 for a whale watching field trip; her mom actually took her to get the money at a seven-eleven over by sweet retreat. While they were sitting in her moms car waiting for her to find her moms wallet, she asked her mom, Why havent you ever bought me horseback riding lessons? and the response she got from her mother affected my friend so badly, she has been considering counseling ever since. Her mother told her that it wasn’t my friends passion, she didn’t want to waste her money on her and that she wasn’t as important as her sister who would ,hopefully later in life, pursue a career in horseback riding.
That is probably the most cruel thing you could ever tell your daughter. My friend is still very hurt by that. In the beginning of 10th grade, she decided to trust her mother just one more time. SHe thought that maybe after seven to eight months of not talking or seeing her mom, she might have changed. Well one Friday, when her little sister was getting dropped off at their dads house by their mom, she decided to go out and see her mom. They were both so happy to see each other that her mom began to cry. They both sat in her moms car and talked for as long as they could.
They caught up on everything that happened lately. Then as they talked, she made a plan to see her mom every other weekend and they would just go out to see or go to a park or something like that. After they planned that out, they said their goodbyes and her mom left. When she went inside, she asked her dad if they were doing anything for the weekend and he said no so she called her mom. She asked if she could get picked up and spend the night and she said that she would pick her and her little sister up at 8:30pm.
It was about 4:30pm after she called and she was so excited to see her mom. She got ready, packed a bag, and waited until it was time for her mom to pick her up. When it was 8:30pm, she kept looking out her window to see when her mom would be outside. It was 8:45pm and her mom wasn’t outside so she called her and she would NOT pick up the phone. Her and her sister called her at LEAST 20 times. It was 9:45pm and her mom TEXTED back and said that she was out with her friend, Kathy.
She was SO heartbroken because that was the FIRST TIME in seven or eight months that she actually began to trust her mom and her mom lost her trust, once again. She went in her room and cried like she has NEVER cried before in her life. Her stepmom was there by her side , but no one could comfort her because her mom just emotionally DESTROYED her. Im sure that her mom loves her, its just shes NEVER shown it. Ever since that happened in October, she hasn’t talked to her to this day. She just wished that her mom wasn’t the way that she was so she could have a normal relationship with her.
Anytime she goes back to any memory with her mom, she wonders, Why doesn’t she really love me enough to show it’she just wants the love from her mother that most daughters get. Her mother never taught her how to do her hair, youtube taught her, and her mother never taught her how to do her make-up, her stepmom and older sister taught her. Her mother was NEVER there for her. Now, she has her step-mom, but the love from your OWN mother is unexplainable. Shes felt the love from her mother and thats something that she will never never forget.