I stood shaking outside the room, slowly I shuffled through the door and felt thirty pairs of eyes fix on me. Too nervous to glance round my new registration class, I concentrated on staring at the blue carpet below me embedded with chewing gum.
Raising my head slightly I saw the teacher at the front of the class pointing towards an empty seat in the front row, as an indication for me to sit down. Not wanting to disturb anyone I sat in silence lost for words. A few girls in my classes showed me around for a while but I soon found a group of people who I settled with really well. I could be myself more openly and the whole group were excited to have a new member. Two of the girls in this gang became my best friends but at first I didn’t quite realise just how much they would affect my life.
English, Period Two on a Friday. That was our period in the library. I sat as usual with my two new best friends, Rozi and Elaine. We sat and talked for most of the class, swapping secrets and stories, by the end of the class I felt as though our friendship really would last. Rozi and Elaine had previously been best friends but upon my arrival, we instantly became a trio.
At first I was closer to Rozi because she was louder and more risky than Elaine. She was always hyper whereas Elaine seemed more relaxed and was much more quieter. Elaine had an unbelievably good skill for listening but Rozi was more like me…much better at talking! The three of us became inseparable, close like sisters, joined at the hip as my mum called us. We arranged to meet on weeknights and weekends constantly. Our phone bills rocketed and I nearly drove my parents insane. We spent more time with each other than we did doing anything else. We rarely met up with other friends, we were happy, just the three of us. So where was the need for others? As time went on my happiness with this friendship seemed to good to continue just as easy, unfortunately I was right.
Weeks later, gossip was flying. Apparently Rozi and I were dating…each other! That was such a shock to more people than we thought. I vividly recall us sitting giggling together in our R.E class, and all we could hear from the “populars” behind us was “lezzy, lezzy!” The rumours about us were everywhere.
Our school, other schools, life was a nightmare. We stayed strong friends but the abuse was unthinkable. The three of us despaired at the thought of school every day.
Each night I sat alone in the darkness of my room, huddled in a corner, wishing my life would end. I could see no other option. There was no escape.
In 6 small months my life had become a living hell. There was only a few weeks left until half term when I took drastic action to end it all… Opening my eyes, I realised I was in hospital. Numerous tubes through my arms and having a drip attached to me, told me things weren’t over. A nurse was soon by my side, assuring me I was going to be okay. My attempt hadn’t quite been strong enough to kill me but certainly knocked me out for a few days. Returning to school a week later, I dreaded the response. What I didn’t expect was the majority of my year rushing up to me, flooding me with apologies. A few girls who had been considerably worse than others were crying and looked generally upset because they hadn’t realised how much rumours could affect people.
Two years on, I’m still good friends with Elaine and Rozi. We no longer see each other as much, which is sad but we each have our different sets of friends who mean just as much to us.
The stuff that had been said about us no longer exists, even in whisper. Casting a thought back makes me realise how a few people can turn one lie into a massive rumour, affecting peoples lives so much that they really feel there is no escape.
