Losing someone who cannot be replaced by anyone else is harder than losing millions of dollars. I have been deep affected by my experiences learning to overcome all of the emotional disturbances, inding that there are things that cannot be forgotten, and gaining knowledge about the uniqueness of the friendship. When my best friend told me that he had lung cancer, my life changed completely. I knew was going to lose him, but I didn’t know it would be so hard to overcome the feelings that he left me with. We were friends, not just regular friends, but we were best friends, which explains everything.
We would do everything together, such as play soccer, play piano and guitar, walk on the street and act crazy, run away from home and hide somewhere, ditch school and throw a party on Monday. We had the best time together, but unfortunately life took all that from me. Sometimes I ask myself why it had to be him, my best friend, a person who trusted with everything, a person who knew what to do to make me happy, a person who was the best part of my life. He would give everything in order to strengthen our friendship. He was a friend who will always be in my heart. It was the night of April 14, 1999.
I will never forget that day. He came to me showered in tears. He looked very sad. “What’s going on, why are you so depressed? ” I asked. “I’m, I’m going, and I’m going to…” He said slowly. He stopped talking, I didn’t know what was going on in reality, but he knew it, because within the last couple of months he was having trouble breathing. That didn’t bother him much until that moment when he visited a doctor. I looked at his eyes, and I saw his blue colored eyes blurring into shadows of a dream. I understood what was going on, but I didn’t cry, because I knew if did, that would really hurt his feelings.
I looked at him again and said, “Everything will be just fine; you just have to take proper care of yourself. ” Inside of me, the flame of sadness kept burning and I was barely keeping my tears from falling, but I knew I was strong enough to handle myself. That moment was followed by a joke, which I don’t really remember. In order to make him laugh and make his emotions go away, I began telling some really good jokes. He started to laugh very hard, but he coughed too. That was the last time I saw him laughing that hard, that happy, that sad at the same time.
On the same night I got a call from him, asking me to go and see him, because he wasn’t feeling very well. We were always there for one another, so I went there. He looked all white, and his blue eyes didn’t see to be very happy. I was trying to fool myself, and kept repeating in my mind that everything was going to be all right. I couldn’t make myself to believe that it was really going to happen. It was 2:30am when he finally told everyone to go and leave the two of us alone. He started talking. “I know what’s going to happen next, but you don’t worry… I’ll be alright, because God is going to take care of me.
And don’t be sad. It’s not like we’re not going to see each other again? ” He asked me to hold his hand hard, and he also told me that our friendship will last forever no matter what happens. He gave me a letter and said, “Whenever you feel its time to read this, just open it. ” I closed my eyes, and within seconds I felt his pulse stop pumping, and a dark cold ran inside of my hands. He just left everything. His blue eyes were already close, and I couldn’t do anything else to make them look back at me. At that second I couldn’t control myself anymore. The salty tears glided down my face.
I didn’t talk. I just went crazy and I started screaming, but I didn’t say a word. I became crazy. I couldn’t breath, because he was the air I was breathing, he was the happiness that was keeping me alive, he was the friend that I respected more tan a brother, more than anybody else. And now he’s not there anymore, he’s gone. It’s just the letter and me… Two weeks had passed after his death, and I was still depressed, angry, sick, and almost lifeless. I couldn’t understand what was going on around me. Everything was an illusion. I wasn’t eating, drinking, nor doing anything.
For twenty-four hours I was lying on my bed, thinking about what am I going to do. I couldn’t talk to anyone, because I didn’t want to. I wanted to be alone all day, remember the good times we had. And I finally decided to open the letter he gave me. IN the letter he said, “Don’t be silly and don’t cry. I know how you fee, but you know what, you’re life is not over yes. You have to understand that life is tough, and you just have to get used to it, fight it, and get whatever you want. I know that life is beautiful, and I only had a short time to experience it.
You got to get yourself ready to continue your life, because only than I can look down at you with pride. You have to understand the fact that you’re the person who makes everyone smile, you share their problems, understand, ad love. You have to be yourself. I will miss you, and I know you won’t forget me… I guess this is goodbye, but I don’t want to say that, I’ll just say I’ll see you later bro’. ” heart filled with lightness. The idea of continuing my life, as he had said, gave me the power to start everything from the beginning. I learned many lessons from this event.
For instance, that true friends can never be replaced by anyone else, and they’re never forgotten. I understood that the friendship is a gift, and nothing in the world can come between real friendship. Yes, I had a lot of emotional disturbances within myself, but at the end, I actually understood that everything happens for a reason. I have accepted the fact that my friend is not with me anymore, but I’m sure that he will always live inside of me. As long as he’s in my memories, he’s part of me, and I take his presence as a source of pride.
