Once upon a time, actually, not so long ago, I met this boy. Love at first sight? Nah, such things like that don’t exist in my mind. Well, I didn’t have any special first impression about him. He was just like anybody else. No, even more ordinary than some others. To be honest, I can’t even tell if I had first met him since fourth grade or fifth. My memory is just that awful. Okay, so let’s get some flashbacks, starting from fifth grade. As what I remember, I was sitting across him. All I know is that he liked me. But I didn’t care because I was too busy impressing my crush. Now I regret.
So there isn’t much things to say about fifth grade because he was just an acquaintance to me. We rarely talked to each other; I didn’t even notice that he was in my class as well. As what people usually say, you can never know if this stranger would one day become someone that means so much to you. So let’s move on. Sixth grade wasn’t a great year for me. Actually, it was my worst year so far. Him and I, we were in different classes. I was meant to be in the same class as he was, but somehow I have to moved to a totally new class with a bunch of people that I have never seen in my life before.
I had a chance to make new friends, and enemies of course. He was absolutely erased from my mind. To me, he was less than a friend but more than a stranger. We hardly see each other. And after 7 months in sixth grade, I fell in love with this guy in his class. We dated for 9 months and it was already seventh grade when I broke up with this guy. During that time, all I heard about him was that he liked this girl and everyone was talking about it. Like a mini drama. And of course I’m a drama queen so I know it all. Okay, now comes the little secret. I was a bit, a tiny bit jealous.
Gosh I don’t even know why. I remembered that he was the boy that liked me in fifth grade and now I heard that he has a crush on someone else. I don’t know, it’s just a bit hurtful. Well yeah I understand. How could I expect him to keep liking me when I didn’t even care about him’so yeah, I was just too obsessed with boys. We weren’t classmates in seventh grade as well. Another year of being acquaintances. And I have to say that I realized that he’s becoming more handsome every year haha. Again, there’s nothing much to say about seventh grade since it was just simply another year of us being apart.
And gosh I hate that. So okay, move on to eighth grade, when things became incredibly good. I was so excited, and scared too, since this is the very first year that I’m in an international class. I was worried because I didn’t have any friends with me in this class. Then I met her, my bestie. But we won’t go into that because I would be going off topic. Yay, so we are in the same class this year. But still, I didn’t have much impression about him at first. But he was a bit more special than before since he was one of the few friends I got in this class. So we talked more.
I get to know more about him and I have to say that he was a really good guy, at least the best guy friend I knew at that moment. He was seating almost next to me at first. So I got even more chances to talk to him. And without knowing, I just naturally fell for him. His handsomeness. His smile. His humors. His intelligence. His kindness. Everything about him made me fell over and over again without realizing it. Then seats were moved. He seated in front of me and even right next to me in science class. I talked to him all day long and I could laugh every single time. I felt really lucky. And this feeling did hold me back to think about it. Yeah, I do love him”, I thought to myself.
But I didn’t have the guts to tell him because I know he didn’t have any feelings for me. He considered me as a good friend, that’s all. And to be honest, I’m not the type of girl that would wait ages for someone to love me back. Because I know how terrible it is to have a crush on someone that you know for sure that you don’t have a tiny chance to win him. Okay, now is the part where shit just got real. So people called this the climax of a story, when I found out that he had a crush on another girl, and it was even worse because that “another girl” is my bestie.
I was completely hopeless and disappointed. That was when I know how he felt and what had he gone through in fifth grade when he still had a crush on me, who was absolutely so childish and selfish. I regretted every second I denied his love for me in fifth grade. I could felt the stupidity inside me. I was too jealous with my bestie that I had even thought about stop being friends with her. But luckily I changed my mind or else I would have lose my bestie just because of my jealousy. Okay, another not so little secret. I had even tried to get in the way to mess up everything between them but well, I failed.
So I just ignored it and try to act normal. Well, it was all my fault anyway. For not realizing sooner that one day I would fall for him that much. If I did, I would have got him now. Here comes the sad part in a cheesy love story. Yeah I still remember this, since this is the day when I decided that I should let go of him. It was science class when someone told me about his past. It was awful. I couldn’t believe what I heard. All of my good impressions about him, everything, seemed to break down. Then there was this tiny little hope in me. I asked him if that was true and of course I was hoping that he would deny it.
But to my amazed, he said it was true. He said it to me with the most innocent voice I have ever heard. I was mad and upset. “You destroyed all my respect for you! ”, I said to him. “Who needs your respect? ”, he answered like it was nothing. I burst into tears. I don’t know exactly why I was so sensitive, but I was. It wasn’t the thing he did in sixth grade that made me cried. It was how he talked to me and how meaningless I was to him. Yes, I meant nothing to him while he meant so much to me. So yeah, my love for him was totally ended. Well at least that was what I thought.
So days after that, he was back to how he was before, a friend. Then I talked to this guy. Let’s just call this guy xyz, even though everyone knows who this guy is. Xyz really loved me. Xyz had tried to do anything to make me love him too. And yes, xyz achieved it. I totally forgot about him and get into this relationship with xyz. But not long after that, I realized that I accidentally love him again. I couldn’t stop it. He seated right in front of me everyday so I couldn’t do anything else but to talk to him. And talk to him makes it even harder to stop loving him.
But still, he showed me no sign that he even likes me or not. So it was terrible, having a crush on someone who you are not sure if that person even cared about you. So I just kept that little secret to myself. I didn’t even tell anything to my bestie. Why’simply because I was afraid that maybe he still likes my bestie and it would be so shameful to tell her and I was too arrogant for that. Gosh I swear that it was very hard and frustrated to kept hiding my feelings for him. So one day, I decided to tell my bestie about him. I wasn’t so surprised that she knew it already.
Because she’s my bestie, I understand how experienced she is in these kind of stuff. She gave me a lot of advices and one of them was that I should tell him immediately how I felt about him. She said that she knew he loved me too and I should tell him if I didn’t want him to go for another girl. Here comes the cheesy part where a girl and a boy finally get to be together. Yep, November 19th 2014, I confessed. Well actually, no, I didn’t mean to give that paper to him on purpose. I didn’t even prepare for it yet. It was math class and I was just too bored with nothing to do.
So I just wanted to write down something and bam! It just came out from my mind, a confession. It was just a joke at first, because I still didn’t have the guts to confess my feelings. I showed my bestie and she just told me to just give it to him. And I did. I was super duper scared. A million things ran through my mind. “What if he said no? What if he felt annoyed and just decide to hate me instead? What if he thought it is a joke and tells everyone about it? What should I do now’should I take it back’should I just leave it there and pretend like nothing happened?
Gosh I’m dying I need a doctor! ” Okay, so that was pretty much what I was thinking on that day. But nah. It was incredible. I went home and messaged him. I didn’t know what to say because it would be very ridiculous if I just suddenly say “So do you love me too? Will you be the love of my life? ”. What if he didn’t see that paper’so all I said was “=)))”, what I usually say when I don’t know what to say instead. And he was weird haha. I didn’t understand what he said at first but then I kinda get it and felt extremely happy. So yeah, it is our anniversary day, November 19th 2014.
November 21st 2014, Fire ; Ice ball, our first date. Actually, even before I confessed to him, I had asked him to be my ball date. Well, he accepted. It was a relief to me because it would be so awkward and shameful if he said no. So okay, back to the main topic. It was pretty awkward at first for both of us. But later, we get used to it and felt comfortable being together. Indochina, 9:21 p. m. , his first kiss. Well, he thought we went too fast. But to me, it’s okay either way. It was adorable how inexperienced he was. Would it be super cute if I could be his first and last love?
We shall see. So yeah, it was a memorable night for both of us. He is and will always be my Prince Charming. Well, no relationship is perfect. There will be fights, argues, different opinions about different things, and even breakups. Our is the same. Actually, we have much more argues than normally. But yeah, we can deal with it. He could make me laugh so easy. Like every time we Skype, it’s no longer a weird thing if I just suddenly burst into laughter. Cuddling with him. I love it. I could melt in his arms. His kisses. Gosh it drives me crazy every time.
I’m this hot-tempered with millions problems type of girl. And he’s this calm with a pink life type of boy. We are so different. But we fit together perfectly, just like puzzles. I get mad often and he has to calm me down every single time. I could be very mean to him at some point but he still loves me so much and I couldn’t ask for more. He’s the one that I need in my life. Yeah I know. He is careless. He is stupid at understanding girls. He is childish. But that is what I love about him. I don’t need a perfect boyfriend. I need an imperfect one so I could get mad at him sometimes haha.
Now, think about everything that happened in the past between us, I don’t think that I regret anything. If I fell for him in fifth grade, maybe we wouldn’t be in love with each other right now because we were too childish back then and also, we didn’t get to be in the same class for 2 years. So yeah, I love how things are right now. We are in the same class. We are together. We get to talk to each other everyday. We get to see each other everyday. We get to kiss and hug each other everyday. I wish that everything could stay this way forever But he will not be here with me next year anymore.
Yes, it’s going to hurt so badly. Yes, it’s going to be extremely hard to keep things as good as how it is right now. Yes, I don’t believe in forever lasting love. But I hope and believe that we could get through the tough times. He is also the type of guy that would be very faithful if it worth trying. I believe so. And I am also the type of girl that is willing to do anything to keep someone that I know is my true love. We would make a great team together ;3. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse. Okay, so I just want to say that I love him a lot.
