I am among the 850 people that attend Jesuit Prep. Each day at JesuitPrep, we attend 8 grueling classes with 45 minutes of monotonous teachingabout many subjects.
Within each classroom, all the beady eyes of eachstudent stare off into either space or the hanging clock on the oppositewall. As the 45 minutes tick away and the teacher rambles about a subject,the second and minute hand on the clock seem to slow down, then stop theirrotational turns. While the clock appears to stop, often our heads droopdown, at where we are sitting, till they reach a comfortable position uponour arms which we have placed across our desks. Once this repetitiveclassroom sequence of events happens, as is often the case within JesuitPrep, we are swept away to our own mental classroom of deep sleep. Thisdeep sleep is a common occurrence at Jesuit Prep.
Yet, every time theteachers bore us to sleep, our future is hurt by our loss of vitalinformation to help us continue through High School College. As humbly asI may, I propose to solve this problem and help the students of Jesuit Prepenjoy these classrooms of boredom. This proposal, deeply thought out tosolve the common problem of students sleeping and hurting their futurelives and careers is to place table top dancers in every classroom. I have worked out the details entailing the added cost of these dailydancing ladies. A well-known friend of mine, who owns a nightclub off ofHarry Hines, was kind enough to divulge the rates per hour that dancers, hecould find for Jesuit Prep, would accept.
The amount I was told is $5. 00per hour, ensured that this was a very generous deal by my friend. Thismeager hourly wage, times the 7 hours of school, times the 30 classrooms,and times the 180 class days of school equals approximately $200. 00 addedtowards each student’s tuition. Each student’s tuition, currently ataround $5,600 would be raised barely less than 4% to $5,800 per year. Asyou can see, the statistics have been thoroughly thought out, the nextquestion is where to place these table-top dancers.
Each classroomcurrently has at least one main desk towards the front of the classroom. Each day the desks are barely touched by teachers and people, as mostteachers use portfolios or briefcases to carry their as nments and paperswith themselves. The desks, therefore being unused, could serve as ampleroom for the dancers to take their position and dance throughout theperiod. As the administration and teachers understand the positive impactthis creates in the learning curve, further enhancements may be made toinclude a metal pole, that can serve to aid the dancers, installed at thefront corner of each room.
A famous European friend of mine hasimplemented this method of teaching into his courses, with the metal poles,and continually praises this idea as an excellent way to transfer his dailyinformation to his students. . This proposal, thought out in every respect, will influence more thanjust the students. Each dancer, by working all day, 5 days a week, issupplied with a steady job and is kept in the labor force earning a honestliving. The dancers are also able to pick up spending money as cash isslipped to them by students during class, assuming the child has beenpaying attention to the lesson and the teacher allows it.
The teacherswill have their students awake and attentive during the period for lessonsand information by offering private dances with the dancers if certainstudents behave correctly. As the students learn more information, basedupon this rewarding classroom atmosphere, parents may become more confidentin their child’s college search process because of their improved grades. As the improved grades are returned, no doubt that the school pride andappreciation will increase as well. Everyone’s self-esteem will rise, andsupport for other programs will grow. Although with all of these advantages, there are always people who cancritique any well thought and laid out proposal. Myself, I can only thinkof 2 questions, which only the extremely judgmental person may come up inresponse to such a grand plan at solving such a problem.
Firstly, that thecost of these table top dancers may seem rather steep. My only retort tothat comment is that there is always a price for improving education,especially at this level and grand of scale. The children’s educationcomes first in my mind though, and for myself, I would pay any price tomake sure I am well taught and am well prepared for any future endeavorswhich I plan to proceed into. These dancers are of the highest quality,for the children deserve only that much. Secondly, a concern I did notinitially think of due to its pure obscurity and the fact that with aproposal such as this, it is not of a major concern to most loving andcaring parents with their children’s’ education in the refront of theirminds.
This concern is related to the dancers being used as sexual objectsin front of their children. I would like to restate that these are dancershand-picked, of the highest quality and have years of experience to back uptheir credentials. The dancers are hired only as a learning stimulus forthe class, there is no intention of using these highly experienced ladiesas sexual objects, for that would only insult themselves and theirprofession. With the major points addressed, it should be clear to you that myproposal has been thoroughly thought out and is unmatched, for nobody elsehas attempted to curb the learning in schools by such a proposal full ofpositive points, none of which are negative.
I challenge anyone else tothink up a more in depth proposal for a solution to boredom in JesuitSchool. Until that time, I expect to see this proposal looked overearnestly by the top-administering school officials and placed into actionas soon as it is agreed upon that this is a perfect solution to an ongoingproblem.
