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    Why Farts Are Awesome Essay (631 words)

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    After I farted on my coworker, every single male working starting laughing their asses off, and the females looked at me as if I’d just committed the most heinous crime one can commit. The manager tried to keep the peace by politely asking me to not fart on people, but it was one of those times where you’re trying to tell somebody not to do something, yet you just can’t stop laughing. I was forced to admit that tarring on someone is rude. Yeah, so? It’s also very freaking hilarious.

    We do it to each other all the twine, well, the guys anyway, We’ll run over to each other’s workstations, rip one off, then run away laughing as the other person covers their nose, Then an hour later they’ll get us back, And you know what? It’s damn funny too. So of course when farted on my coworker people asked me if would think it’s funny if someone farted on me. Not especially, but it would be damn funny to them, and if they did it to me and didn’t laugh, I’d kick their ass Of course it isn’t funny if you’re on the receiving end, but it’s comedic gold if you deliver a well-timed stinker to a friend.

    The humor value of a fart is judged by the level of humor in the eyes of the farted and the third-party audience, if applicable. The fretter’s perspective doesn’t count. That’s the whole point of getting a good laugh at the expense Of Others. I don’t mind if people get a laugh at my expense. It’s the rules of the game, you live by the sword and die by the sword. I can take a fart from someone else, but you can bet your ass I’ll be delivering one with your name on it. You see, fog didn’t want people to fart on each other, he wouldn’t have made it so funny.

    God wants us to fart in the funniest manner possible. Usually that involves assaulting the nasal passages of your fellow man. Farting is just funny. I mean think about it, it stinks, it makes a funny noise, and it comes out of your ass, how could it possibly get any funnier than that? As a matter fact, I challenge you to name five things in life that are funnier than nailing somebody else with a big stinky fart. Don’t think it’s possible. To help all of you appreciate the art of farting a little more, have taken the liberty of coming up with a few farting tips from a farting pro.

    It possible, make certain someone else gets the pleasure tot smelling your fart. A fart nobody else smells or hears is an opportunity wasted and lost forever. If you have to fart and you’re standing next to someone, bend your ass and “aim” toward them. This doesn’t really make it any smellier for them, but it adds dramatic effect and makes the experience funnier. If you have to fart, and nobody is standing right next to you, hunt someone down, then lift your leg, scrunch up your face, and let Togo.

    For bonus points, try to corner someone and then fart on them. Also for bonus, get down on your knees as though you’re looking for something on the ground. Ask for help. As soon as the good Samaritan gets on their knees to help you, quickly move your ass right up next to their face and let go. When someone is giving their opinion and you have to fart, say “You know What I think about that? ” and then scrunch up your face and fart. When you have to fart and someone is walking in your direction, hold the fart until the are directly behind you, then release.

    This essay was written by a fellow student. You may use it as a guide or sample for writing your own paper, but remember to cite it correctly. Don’t submit it as your own as it will be considered plagiarism.

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    Why Farts Are Awesome Essay (631 words). (2018, Aug 13). Retrieved from https://artscolumbia.org/why-farts-are-awesome-47686/

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