Never having any guidance, or direction, he has always seemed to work through allobstacles.
Langston was a young man, roughly beginning his first year of medical school. Everyone he knew saw it a miricle that he ever made it as far as a bachelors degree, muchless a Medical Degree. Born a mistake never knowing his mother, or father he spent much of hischildhood and adolescence running from foster homes east and west, he had never knownunconditional love or the feel of a true family. At the age of 24, only one person in his lifehad ever before cared enough to keep in touch with him. She was a young woman hecalled Mams. Natalie Green Entered is life when he was around the age of four, as his bigsister.
She was only 18 and needed community service hours to receive a scholarship,never anticipating that such a loving relationship would grow with the young boy. Mams was an only child to a middle class black family, raised with a father that believe you mustearn and work for everything you receive. Even then the nature and history, of Langstonslife, at the age of four, shocked her. For the 12 months they spent together, in St.
Louis,every weekend, and twice during the week they escaped from their lives. She took him toplays, book readings, social events, anything she thought would open his eyes to theopportunities surrounding him. As a result Langston was well on his was to success. Evenafter she left for collage, and he moved to a new home, every birthday, Easter,Christmas, Halloween, and any other special event, Langston would receive a letter orpost card with just enough words to make him keep trying. She was the main and onlymotivation in his life.
On a Sunny day, in the beginning of September, Langston hopped on his bike andhurried home to his apartment to change clothes and rush to work, his daily routine. Thedoor flung open, his shoes flew across the room, he ran to the bathroom he turned on theshower, then ran into the kitchen, and was then brought to a paused when he noticed themail he must have overlooked when first entering. The shower still running, he grabbedthe mail, not expecting anything in paticular besides the usual junk mail. When suddenly hewas suprised to see a peach envelope with purple ink writing, reading Langston Brownthough, he didnt recognize the handwriting. With a bad feeling in the pit of his stomachhe ran to the bathroom to shut off the water, then slowly walked to the living room werehe sat squeamishly in the most uncomfortable chair, and nervously he began to open theenvelope.
The first words of the letter brought him to tears, Dear Langston, your probablywondering who this is, I am Julie Morris, Up until two days ago I was Natalie Greens bestfriend. Knowing you were a dear friend to her I felt obligated to inform you. . . Hestopped, he knew what had happened, not being able to read anymore, the letter droppedto the floor and he froze in silence, for what seamed a decade.
Mams the only person whoheld any significance in his life had committed suicide, she was only thirty eight. Since thebeginning of his life all the insults, set backs, and rejections; none of this compared to theemotions he was faced with at this time. The impact Mams suicide had on Langstons life was tremendous. Although heonly got four or five letters a year from her and they seldom saw each other, she was stillthe one that drove Langston. With her gone he felt useless. In the months following,Langstons 3.
8 GPA had taken a cliff dive to a 2. 5, he went from job to job, not being ableto handle the once seamed easy requirements and responsibilities. Langston was depressedand drowning in self pity. Even the few shallow party friends Langston had come to knowin college couldnt redeem his spirits. His hard work, amazing accomplishments andoverwhelming ambition were slowly being flushed down the toilet.
Yet the only thoughtsrushing his mind were, why her?, what could I have done?, how could she do this to meand herself?, why is life so unfair? with other pending questions, the confusion overcamehim. On a Wednesday Afternoon, about 2:30 p. m. , half an hour after his first exambegan, He barely rolled out of bed, Eyes half shut he floped down the hallway toward thekitchen, expecting to find something to eat. He opened the freezer, no Eggos, he openedthe fridge, empty, he went to the pantry, hoping he would find cereal, though nothing butbareness. Then he noticed a piece of unfamiliar paper lay dusty and stained on the pantryfloor.
Out of pure curiosity Langston found the energy to kneel down and pick it up. Upon flipping the paper Langston found a poem. It read:Well son I tell you:Life for me aint been no crystal stair. Its had tracks in it,And splinters,And boards torn up,And places with no carpet on the floor-Bare. But all the timeIse been a-climbin on,And reachin landins,And turnin corners,And sometimes goin in the darkWhere there aint been no light. So boy, dont you turn back.
Dont you set down on the steps`Cause you finds its kinder hard. Dont you fall now-For Ise still goin, honey,Ise still climbin,And life for me aint been no crystal stair. Filled with astonishment Langston realized those were the closing words of Mamseulogy, Langston had been so greif stricken he totally zoned out the entire funeralceremony, even the lasting momentos she left for him. Mams hadnt forgotten him, nor notcared for him, for whatever reason she felt she had to die, she wanted Langston to knowhow much she was proud of him, and how much she believed he was capable of acheiving. Such a small, yet overlooked aspect.
Who knew how much these few wordscould change Langstons life. Suddenly he felt powerful and ambitious once again. He nolonger blamed himself, or questioned the ways of life, he learned to accept the past andprepare for the future. Though some people looked down on Natalie Green for hercowardly death, contrary, Langston still holds her in the highest respect, for she changedhis life in ways he can never repay. She gave him hope and strength when there was noone else around to care if he woke up the next morning.
She understood how much heneeded her in his life. Natalie Green was his Mams, warm hearted, strong, independent;the most influential, loving person in his life.
