I have chosen to write about my mother having a car accident, which had changed her life and all of those around her. Back in 2002 my mom was a nurse and a very happy and adventures person, she loves the outdoors and especially being able to travel and go anywhere she wanted to without any restrictions. But everything changed after she suffered a car accident. I can remember the day it happened like it was yesterday.
On January 10, of 2003 the streets of Brighton were very snowy and the visibility for the car drivers was very bad. My mom went to work like every morning and she left the house around 8:00 a. m. and headed out. She was walking her way down Commonwealth Avenue to catch the train, the Green B Line but suddenly a car struck her from behind and sent her to the other side of the street. She was taken to the San Elizabeth’s Hospital in Brighton where in a bed at the Internal Care Unit; she spend more than six months unconscious.
When she finally woke up she did not recognized anybody at first that wasn’t the worse part of all; the worse news were that she couldn’t move her legs at all and that besides everything she had a tumor in her brain that can’t be removed because of the location and if the doctors will try to operate, she wouldn’t make it out the surgery alive. Time passed and finally towards the end of June of 2003 she was send home but everything changed after her return; she wasn’t the same person anymore physically or mentally, her attitude completed change it was like talking to a stranger or another person.
She wouldn’t smile anymore or talk to others only if she needed something; but she wouldn’t ask in a pleasant way. She will demand and had a way to talk to others that instead of making them feel sorry about her situation the only thing that they will feel is to stay away and don’t return to see her again. When she looked at herself in a wheelchair and her hair was cut shorter because of the injuries in her head. She was sad and very angry at the same time; angry at GOD because she was still alive when she couldn’t do or be the same person she just to be.
Angry at the person who hit her that day because he couldn’t avoid hitting her sending her to the hospital. Angry at everyone and everything around her because she said that we didn’t know or understand what was happening to her. Also she regretted every single day of her life; the day that she had decided to come to the United States, that if it wasn’t because of us my brothers and myself; she wouldn’t be here and she would had that car accident.
After she came home me and my brothers were debating how to take turns to be able to care for her since, she refuses to let the hospital nurse take care of her or any other stranger. Finally my mom made her own decision that only I could take care of her. My brothers could help, but only with a few things. Otherwise, I had to do most of it. And so by the end of June I started to take care of her but I didn’t realized how much time, effort, and especially patience I had to have and spend in order to meet her expectations.
At that same time I was going to school and I was recently married. My life started to become sort of a night mare; not only I had to move in with my mom but her and my husband really didn’t get along very well so he has to stay at our house and me I had to go to my moms, that was very hard first because I couldn’t see my husband during the week only during the weekends for a few hours because he has to work and go to school too. My school scheduled was very hard to keep; since I have to give my mom a bath, change her clothes and dressed her, cook also keep the house clean.
Make sure that she took her medications on time. Take her to the hospital for her physical therapy and try to keep my grades up and keep my job. Everything looks okay at the beginning but after a few weeks her demands were more and more, her attitude was horrible she acted like a little kid most of the time; she didn’t want nobody else to help her but me, not even my brothers, I started to get frustrated and mad and my school and my job were becoming more than I can take.
I decided to quit school and to spend more time with my mom but I didn’t realize that instead of doing her a favor, I was denying myself a good opportunity for my future. Now not only that but my husband was getting tired of only seeing each other during the weekends and my mom’s attitude and bad words every time she has to go to the hospital or take her medications were getting to me. There were moments that I wished that I wasn’t her only daughter and that I was in another city so I didn’t have to deal with the whole situation.
Time was passing by and by the end of September of 2003 I made an important decision that I have to teach my mom an important lesson that was going to be very valuable for her and myself; to depend on herself again, to believe in GOD again, to trust others with her care and to seek help maybe from a professional. I sit down in the living room and had a very long conversation with her and my brothers. Everyone looked at me like a bad person at the beginning because they thought that I was quitting in my mom; but not in the contrary I was teaching her the importance of realizing that if she was alive is because of a reason.
That live don’t stop because you can walk; that there are so many people that are in worse situations and they have faith and hope to begin a new chapter in their lives again so she can do it too. In the beginning, she refused and cried a lot and said so many bad words. She blamed my husband because she was going to be by herself, and because she would need to ask for help from outsiders. So I made a decision I move back to my house with my husband and I went every day to her house to do the shores, to take care of her, to do the cooking and cleaning.
Also I made her go back to the hospital with me and start her physical therapy again, she wasn’t too happy about it but she understood that starting again wasn’t a bad thing. Deep inside me I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but if she let her guard down and realized that there is more to life than just complaining and asking why me, or blaming others for your situation her life can be much better if she only tries. After a couple of years, by the beginning of 2008. A positive attitude, lots of patience, tons of communication, dedication, a couple of surgeries, and lots of physical therapy.
I can happily said that she is walking again with a cane by her side but she is doing much better than 10 years ago. Her hair is long again, her attitude change so much and the way she see others is much better. Still she don’t like hospitals or going to doctor’s appointments but she has understand that her health is changing because of her age. She does understand the importance of not giving up and most importantly that by having GOD, hope and faith by your side everything and anything is possible.
The road may be very hard and full of stones and barriers but if you hold someone’s hand and listen to them and let them guide you; the road can be easier to cross and the destination can be totally worth waiting for. In conclusion my purpose in writing this essay is to let others know the importance of being able to familiarized yourself with others feelings, thoughts, personal situations, respecting their way of thinking; looking through what is going on in their daily life. Being able to contribute a little too so many others that don’t have the opportunity or the chance to be understand and get help they need.
Because of their language or cultures; or because they don’t know exactly where to find the necessary resources to make their lives easier. Being able to help others without expecting anything in return is a satisfaction within yourself, looking to so many happy faces and seeing how a simple smile, a hug, or a thank you make a big difference in your life. Those are some of the most rewarding treasures that helping others; had helped me understand that by doing a good deed to others can help you growth better as a human being and also to serve as a role model for your own children.
Helping my mother going through a thought time wasn’t an easy task, but it was a very challenging, rewarding, and meaningful experience to me. Now I understand how important was in order to help her and help myself; becoming more understanding, being patience, lots of determination, and loving her were the main factors for in her recuperation. This experience helps us to become closer and to see each other as more than just a mother and daughter, we had the opportunity to really get to know each other in the good moments and in the bad ones; and always to know that we can count in each other not matter how hard the situation may be.