How could I start telling all my first experiences, they are so many and as long, so detailed but I’ll try to think back and write the more exciting and more intense emotional situations around my short 20 years of age. I will try to demonstrate the important place that has all these situations regardless of the order, provided the first will be last, with this I will prove that my firsts will always end showing the sort of person I am that value and accept the good and bad days of life.
My first love date, how could it be possible to forget things so immature at that time were details so special, my first date with a guy was in a simple common place. nothing romantic, much less anything funny, it was in my own high school at recess time, an appointment of 20 min in which we share the worst sandwich of my 3 years in high school, I felt it was the best day of my life, which felt a strange feeling that my heart sped towards me and even caused a stutter some overwrought silence in me, something weird because I’m not a person or even less insecure reserved girl.
That was my first love date with an 2 years older guy than me, a shaggy rocker and very high light Brown eyes, I could never forget how my grandmother usedto call him, “The Pipipi Pretty Eyes Guy , she called like that because of the famous comedian actor who works at a truck or rather bus or ” pesero this actor often whistle and make a sound with his mouth that says like this “pipipipipi .
My first fight with my parents was something incredibly humorous, for a dumb mistake made by me, I had become the girlfriend of a guy behind my parents, and I remember I had a phone withwichI send messages very often with this guy , one day after school, I was at home doing homework when suddenly I get a message from my boyfriend, when I start reading the message I got excited so much that my heart raced as never before, I had answer him so fast that by accident send the message to the cell number of my grandmother and then my mom was thereby took the phone and looked at the message and made a loud shout, that scares me so much, I didn’t know what to think, I ran as fast as I could look at my mama’s eyes and just felt the milestone of hair that she gave me, after that I realized something was wrong, with all the fear of world I was going or needed to asked what was happening, she just grab my grandmother’s phone and showed me the message I had sent by mistake to her and not my boyfriend.
After that you may seem silly my first punishment was something dumb, which made me lack therefore not something that I felt complete, my mother knew that I was a very charming girl who liked to look pretty and grooming, always stand out from the people, every day I made my makeup and I my hair, my hair was curly as a spring, brown as coffee and dark as chocolate and as long as Rapunzel princess, I did not like my hair I preferred it straight than curly, and with all the pain of my heart I suffered my first punishment, the punishment was to my hair because my mother hide my hair iron, I could notstraight my hair curled for weeks neither complete nor pretty nor outstanding I felt among my friends, I felt insecure, incomplete and ugly as a newborn duck, it sounds silly to say but my first punishment was painful with something material, my mother punished my hair iron for dating a boy. Like anyone else, I have good and bad experiences, lost and found, good and bad feelings, decisions, regrets but like sometimes I have good plans.
I consider myself an intelligent woman with good feelings, first I demonstrate maturity and strength but few people know inside the sensitive and fragile I am, the experiences have made me the woman I am now, one of my best experiences so far is today be next to a person who makes me see life from another perspective, that person that now I find and have, is the person that I always make go away, but away and never expected to come to love as much as I do now, I can say that the love for this couple is the same feeling of love that I was so sad, so empty and so dark, that I had lost one day, the only bad experience I had at my life and which I still suffer and could not recover.
The only bad experience I had was the loss of a person who was my grandfather really was like my dad, who took care of myself and raise, besides being the only correct paternal figure I had. He was the person who helped me out of all my dificult crysis separation of my parents and also was the one who left me the worst emotional crysis when he die. My grandfather name Xavier, a primary school teacher, a healthy, respectful, responssable and very friendly man, but more importantly an incredibly happy man, full of life, and contagious happiness, love at all times.
Still hard for me to accept that he passed away of something that did not deserve and which no one expected him to die, it appeared a cancerous brain tumor in his brain without explanation or warning, appeared and caused him to be in 3 operations he had survive 3 years more than the doctors expected and take more than 50 different medications to live more time with his family. The day of his death is still so alive I can even color it in my mind, was 8 pm, it was a difficult time for him that day, he was complaining and mourn for no reason, I was singing to him his favorite song, taking his hand to make him feel a little calm and to him to saw he was not alone.
We had a nurse at home, I didn’t want to listened the nurse, for more that he said that the day had come I did not want to accept, just hugged my grandfather as hard as I could to feel that he was never going away from my arms until the ambulante had arrived. I was barely 15 years and if you thought that my worst day was the signing of the divorce of my parents, does not compare to what I suffered that night in the returning from my mom, my 2 aunts and my grandmother who had gone in the ambulance with my grandfather, see them walk through that door one by one, and see that the last one to enter to the house was my grandmother that closed the door, I could not accept it , so I opened again the door hoping that my grandfather was there, that even he will come in his wheelchair and give me a kiss on the cheek and tell me that everything was going to be fine.
Upon opening the door and not finding him I could not do more that laid down on the floor to shout and cry why God was so unfair to take me away the only person that illuminating and radiating my days of happiness, even now for me is hard to accept that the love I feel for him still intact and increasingly living comforts me. It was not just what happend that day, after that came a process even more dificult an emotional crysis and a disease of depression and anemia. My mom and sister helped me exit that uggly sickness.
Now I feel good, I became strong for my family, I became a mature person who appreciates what I have, because I still have the best grandfather and father anyone could have, he is far and above, it is true I will never see him, but in my heart he is present every day and in my cheek is the mark of his last kiss. It is hard to understand but my worst experience is attached to my best experience, which is now with my lovely couple or boyfriend.
The same man that one day I had loss the same day I had know the cuttest and perfect handsome guy, my boyfriend. I had lost and met the best man one day, 19th of January in 2009, today the love I feel for my grandfather has the same strength I feel about my current boyfriend Jacob, he is the greatest gift that my grandfather could send me in his absence. With this I can show all my firsts will be my best situations no matter if they are sad things, sad things are good and help me learn from that, remember the last ones will always be the first ones. I’m happy to have what I have now as person, I value and always give thanks to those first special moments that made me the mature and strong woman that I’am today.
