Two summers ago, I started working at a gun shop. It’s not a great job, but it’s money I didn’t have before. While working there, I met a guy named Daval Snuff. He’s really smart, funny, nice, and knows a lot about guns.
Two of Daval’s best friends, BoodaSac and Feebus, told me that he had a little crush on me. The problem was that I already had a boyfriend, Bobbio. When I told Daval about Bobbio, he threatened to kill him. He said he would literally kill him over me. It may sound weird, but I was flattered. I didn’t know if he was serious or not, so I took a vacation.
While on vacation, I went to church and had a good prayer with Pastor Mickey. He simply told me not to believe him. On the fourth day of my vacation, the guys at work told me that Bobbio had stopped by the store. They also mentioned that he met Daval.
When I called Bobbio, no one answered. I got suspicious. Little did I know that Daval had invited him to go hunting.
What Bobbio didn’t know was that Daval was hunting for him. Little did Daval know, Bobbio was a trained assassin for the Mexican Mafia. Bobbio knew something was up when Daval shot him with a tranquilizer dart, but Bobbio, being the trained assassin that he is, took the dart out and sucked the poison out and spit it in Daval’s eye. The deadly poison from the dart severely wounded Daval’s eyes, leaving him blind and alone.
With Bobbio gone, Daval was left to fend for himself. He searched for food and stumbled upon what he thought was a meal, but it turned out to be the dreaded Poontang Bug, which quickly killed him. Bobbio and I are married with nine children, each one named after Daval Snuff, who was bitten by the Poontang Bug. No one ever talks about the day when Daval and Bobbio went hunting and only Bobbio returned, hence the name THE DAVAL SNUFF PROJECT.
