Marriage is a sacred institution in which two people agree to spend the rest of their lives before god for eternity. But in the modern world two types of marriages exist first is an arranged marriage and the second one is a love marriage. Arranged marriage is a traditional and old method of marrying most popular in Asian and African countries in which partners are chosen by family on the basis of culture and family friendship. On the flip side, love marriage is more popular and western approach to marry the person of one’s choice on the foundation of love. Comparing and contrasting these two types of marriages on the grounds of mutual understanding, Stability, commitment and how they share similarities.
In an arranged marriage the partners do not have a better mutual understanding and freedom to choose their spouse as compared to love marriages. For example, two people are arranged to marry by family where they have no knowledge of their future spouse. They are unaware of each other’s likes and dislikes and as a result they are unable to solve the conflicts that arises due to differences in opinions, perspective about work etc. They might not be able to tolerate each other’s habits and may have high expectations from their partner’s. On the other hand, in a love marriage people agree to marry on the foundation of love so they don’t have to seek permission from their parents. They are aware of every little thing about each other. They spend time with each other and fully get to know the other partner which develops a level of comfort. They know the other person so well that are able to sort out conflicts easily determining the nature of their partner and what pleases them the most. They are able to nurture their relationship or determine if they are compatible or not before consenting to enter into the bond of marriage. Even though both cases have their own differences regarding mutual understanding, a marriage is not successful either love or arranged until the couple learn to accept each other disregarding the imperfections and enjoying the relationship.
Although people consider arranged marriages to be traditional and old styled method these kind of marriages offers more stability than love marriages. When family members step in to arrange the marriages it turns out better because a family knows everything about the nature of an individual therefore, they investigate everything about the other person beforehand that is wealth, background information, cultural values, health conditions etc. and on the basis of this determine whether they will be well suited or not. They couple’s also make sacrifices to make the marriage work which may prove to be difficult at first without much knowledge of each other it strengthens the bond. While in a love marriage people prefer themselves modernised hence consider all these formalities as a barrier in their relationship and neglect to look from all sides. Because they believe love can conquer all and if love is present nothing else is needed, which is not the reality as even a marriage on the basis of love requires basic security such as a stable home and income.
Unlike love marriages, arranged marriages provides a sense of commitment. When two people enter into a union based on mutual respect and no further knowledge about the other, they take full hold of their responsibilities. Arrange marriages creates excitement to further know about each other and this motivates couples to behave positively. The first few years are spent to create a bond of friendship. They stick together with each other through thick and thin easily tackling their issues. After time passes the affection between the partners increases and love starts blossoming. Whereas in a love marriage partners already know little details of the other therefore, they take less interest. There is no room left for curiosity as they already know the methods to please one another. They start to take their marriage for granted often forgetting anniversary and valuable things that tied them into this union. Despite all the love, they are unable to resolve their marital problems and trust issues starts taking place. After a few years the passion fades and they start to get bored with each other resulting in not seeing further reasons to continue the marriage and filing for divorce instead.
Similarly, trust and respect are the key ingredients to make any marriage work if there is no trust between partners no matter if the partner is a stranger or not, the side effects will start to show. Here is when the true challenges arise. For example, a partner in a any marriage might show the unusual signs of lack of trust and gets suspicious about very little things which in the light of love may have been ignored before marriage, which leads to belittling the other partner and create interference in their work.
In spite of all the reasons both the love and arranged marriage have their own merits and demerits. Though love marriages are more preferred in modern era, traditional marriages arranged by families do not turn out terrible. With better understanding and time love can also take place in arranged marriages whereas after spending a lot of time being in love the affection starts to fade and the marriages collapse. The success of a marriage does not depend on knowing each other beforehand but on trust and respect because where there is trust and mutual respect love takes place.
