As I waved to my dad though the window, I could see a tear dripping off his eye as he waved back. It had been a long time since I last saw my dad after his long business visit to Dubai 5 weeks back. I had my PJ’s on and my excitement was exorbitant that I started jumping all over the place. As he opened the door he gave me a kiss on the cheek with a feeling of grief in his eyes. I had no idea what was happening so I ran to my grandma to ask her so I found her weeping in the room with my aunt alongside her mourning as well but at least trying to sooth her a little bit.
I was totally confused and lost, what is happening? Did someone die? Did they figure out that my grandma has a disease or something? Those thoughts wouldn’t stop stalking my brain and eventually my curiosity forced me to ask what was happening. After a few minutes, a couple of my dad’s friends entered through the main door of our house and rushed towards my dad’s room making sure to lock the door. I could see the depressing look on their faces that showed the anguish and distress that they’re suffering right now and I wasn’t even able to ask what’s going on.
After a few minutes, my dad’s best friend Sir Adib leaves the room and embraces me whispering to my ear “I want you to be strong Rami” and he enters the my dad’s room again. By then I realized I was the only one not acknowledged of what’s happening, after what Sir Adib said, I knew that something huge was going on. As I went to the living room, I could still hear my grandma mourning in the other room but didn’t dare to sooth her or talk to her because seeing her being in such misery tortured me.
As I watched my sister play with her doll quietly, I knew that she was my only source of relief in this house; a 3 year old kid can actually make a difference. As I sat down pondering about any possible thing that might happen I thought that it could be something related to me, you know because everyone knows but me, and as an 8 year old kid, I didn’t know what to do. Eventually one of my dad’s friends asked me to enter the room, I noticed tears in his eyes, and as I remembered Sir Adib’s words, I knew that my family wanted to abandon me, or probably put me in an orphanage or something.
That’s at least the most logical thing that suits what’s happening, you know my grandma howling, my dad’s devastating kiss on the cheek, Sir Adib’s words, that was all what I could think about. As I entered the room my dad was sitting on the bed looking towards a picture of me and my mom, Sir Adib was trying to avoid getting into eye contact with me with tears all over his eyes, and when I sat down, my dad’s friend locked the door.
I was terrified, and mentally confused, “what’s going on? ” I asked hoping for a logical response that would link everything around me. “My grandma is weeping outside, and you came back after five weeks with no smile on your face but tears in your eyes, Sir Adib devastated, please explain! ” he grabs my arm and says with a trembling voice: “son you know god draws everyone’s path of life and all what we can do is follow his will,” “are you sending me to an orphanage? ” I interrupted.
He looked at me with a weird look and I realized how stupid I was by asking such question, so he said “I’m telling you this only because you’re an adult and I’m sure you can think like one so I want you to listen carefully, you know around 8 years ago your grandpa became an angel in heaven after the disease he had” and as soon as he said this sentence the speculations of what happened couldn’t stop roaming around my head, did anyone die, might my grandma die because of the disease, I had no idea as my face turned red and I couldn’t even realize that my dad was still talking.
As he went on he said “I want you to take this as a man, and I had to say this to you Rami what happened is… ” he gets interrupted by Sir Adib leaving the room not bearing to hear the news. The tension was killing me, I was so stressed that my arms started shaking, as I looked at my dad waiting for the news, he says “Rami, today your mom had a car accident with your two cousins Leen and Firas, and unfortunately, they’re all gone now” as those words slipped through my father’s lips, he couldn’t stand it and he ran outside crying as the rest of his friends followed him, leaving me alone in the room staring at the picture of me and her.
First I was speechless because I couldn’t even realize what just happened and out of nowhere I grabbed a vase and slammed it on the wall, and started to hit my head on the wall and curse my life and god as the memories of her passed through my mind like a movie. As I calmed down, I just sat there and tried to picture my life without her, but that wasn’t even possible for me.
As I walked outside, I found my sister still playing with her dolls while my aunt sitting on the sofa watching her with deep sorrow. She plunges towards me and embraces me with tight arms, and doesn’t let go for a few seconds and just whispers “I’ll always be there for you. ”