As a child I would listen to music and felt the need to hear it since my entire family bought me an electronic music playing device and my cousins would often listen to it. I thought it was cool to hear music. So I would download songs and listen to the Pussycat dolls, Akin, Ferrier. This was all back in the day. I would memorize the lyrics and sing along, and I would sing in front of my brother and family, feeling accomplished that I memorized all of the lyrics. One day I was singing “Wait a minute” by the pussycat dolls.
I shouted out “Why do you keep staring at me like I’m some kind of hoe. ” As a child I wouldn’t know what these filthy words mean, I would utter them not know how disturbing it is. So my mom yelled at me, she said “What did you say? That is a bad word, don’t say it again”. So I asked her what that word meant and she told me. I personally felt really bad that I would be singing that in front of god knows who. It’s kind of sad that this music was famous, thousands of people downloading it, buying it and seeing it live. Still I shunned it off, and continued to unload and memorize.
My background is South Asian, I’m from Pakistan. I grew up with Urdu speaking parents, aunts and uncles. They would constantly listen to Indian/Pakistani music; they were often mesmerism’s and obsessed with the lyrics. The day my dad bought speakers, really impacted me in so many ways. My family blasted Indian songs so loud, to such an extent I couldn’t even hear my own voice as I spoke. I was always irritated and annoyed. This would continue every single day and night and I felt suffocated and hurt. Embarrassed is a perfect word for this situation.
I felt ashamed to be Pakistani and hated my culture. I still do today. My mom would wear Pakistani clothes and I would be ashamed to walk into stores with her. As a child, my culture was portrayed to me in an annoying view. It was loud, irritating and awkward. So one day I thought that one day if people found out I was Pakistani they would say you guys dress like that and hear that awful loud music. I feared what people would say, since I felt my culture is savage and inhumane. My Relationship with Music and Culture By Daffodils
