My life has taken a bunch of twists and turns. As a child, I was blessed with what seemed to be the prefect family. My mother was an educator and my father was an active duty Navy Seal. From the outside looking in, I was privileged, the outside world not knowing my mother and I were being abused by my father when he was home. My father suffered from bipolar disorder. My mother was a 6th grade teacher when she was promoted to principal, she was working on her Ed. D. Shortly after she found that she had a brain tumor that developed from years of abuse, the brain tumor was cancerous. My mother was heaven sent. She loved and cared for everyone.
I was 9 years old when the hospital sent my mother home saying there was nothing else they could do for her. Rather than just being there with her, my instinct was to monitor her, prepare her meals, assist her with hygiene and getting dressed. I did all the household chores and my dad mostly was out of town. When it was time for me to go to school, I missed so many days that I had to attend summer school. Six months after being told the tumor was cancerous, the cancer and spread to my mother’s breast. My mother Linda Jean Brown-Haynes, lost her battle with cancer when I was 9 years old, we didn’t make it to my 10th birthday.
After losing my mother to cancer, I couldn’t handle the abuse from my father alone. I told one of my aunts and she took me away from my father. A few years later I was living with my aunt, I went court to talk privately with a judge about my dad. I saw my dad at the courthouse that day, I never saw him again. I remember coming home and my aunt saying, “I adopted you! ”. I was confused at the time, once I was a adult my aunt told me that my father had given up all parental rights to me, I was heartbroken by that. When I lost my mother I realized how God uses angels. I was upset at first questioning God, wondering why my mother.
My mother’s family worked hard to make sure I was okay. I continued to have a privileged childhood after losing my mother but I always felt an empty void. Years of prayer and attending private catholic schools, I gain a faith and closure in my life. I realized life is a system of experiences meant to prepare us for the next. I know I have a life and spirit only designed to serve and care, my destiny is written with that aspect. Losing my mother made me the woman I am to do, now I’m able to embrace it. I have been living and walking in my purpose since childhood and didn’t realize it until I was 26 years old.
Throughout high school I majored in Computer Science, I just knew I would be a Computer Engineer, I have always had a passion for computers and technology. I was working at a place where I couldn’t help people like I really wanted to. I wasn’t allowed due to rules and my soul always wanted to help. I decided to go back to trade school, I currently obtain my CNA certificate and licensure. I’ve prayed and I have faith this isn’t the end of my journey in healthcare, I’ve taken the necessary steps with God’s help. I believe that God loves me and has blessed me as a tool for his care of his people and his glory.
As an adult and through my studies I know more than ever I was implanted with a destiny in healthcare field. I treat every patient I come into contact with as if they are mother. Experiencing that prepared me for my future as a healthcare provider, I believe that what’s for me, is for me. I have a motto that I go by, it’s a scripture, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. ” (Philippians 4:13). Everyone goes through trials but those are designed to strengthen us, that’s what losing my mother did for me. I use to wonder why I’m so giving and selfless and I realize as an adult that God made me this way for a reason.
Reflecting on everything I’ve been through in my life to date, I’m grateful. I have a loving beautiful family, it is my life goal to be a FNP, to care for others has been my blessing. It has been my healing force and I am optimistic about continuing my education and career with motivation, faith and perseverance. I believe if you keep your faith, you keep your trust, you keep the right attitude, if you’re grateful, you’ll see God open up new doors. I’m know in my heart I am blessed and I give all the glory and praise to God. I’m eternally grateful.
