What does this work mean for moi, Regie T., a male? Not much. Ok, say everyone, male or female, is made aware of this “being thin” cultural ideal for what it is, as a force that oppresses women by making them dislike their bodies and themselves. And what if the pressure to be thin miraculously removed? What would be the effect? Not much for males. Will men suddenly be expected to be attracted to larger women?
Feminists may want that to happen, but why should that be? Why should awareness alter personal preferences? And if women decided to remain at their current size, men who valued thinness could certainly still satisfy themselves by comparing sizes. And so, status quo would prevail; men not inclined to date relatively larger females still wouldn’t be doing so unless they find some individuating feature that makes a particular large woman attractive, such a winning personality, intelligence, ownership of a house, etc. On that note, I’m also confident that most men would rather that women give up their pursuit of thinness, for financial reasons. Who would want their mates to continuously support the multi-billion-dollar cosmetics industry’shop- aholic women give “high maintenance” a new meaning.
The point I’m trying to make here, feminism will not receive empowerment by focusing on being content with body image, unless they attack the underlying motivation. Smith tries to address this, but stops short by citing the traditional views that getting thin is all about achievement. Girls go through all the starvation and yo-yo dieting because they are boy-crazy. This won’t come out in any study, because no female will ever admit to it, not even to herself, but who does she think of while consciously deciding to limit herself to a two-tablespoonful meal? A man. It is an empty point that control of her body (or lack thereof) affects her self-esteem. If she can maintain her weight to her satisfaction, she gets self-discipline, and since when has that been the end-all?
Until someone finds a way to reduce girls’ need to look good for some guy, indeed, the insane desire to always be with a guy, the girls will always try to adapt their bodies to the guy’s preference. Looking at it from the other side, often I think I’m too fat, but so what? Men don’t go out of their way to fulfill some female physique requirement; we’re good at other things and we know it. Now, if only women would start thinking the same way. I don’t need a female to validate my self-esteem, and I’m certainly not going to buy some weight-loss product just to be more attractive to them. Now, if someone markets a product that sharpens the wit, I might be more intrigued.
A few final thoughts. Feminists have been barking up the wrong tree for decades. It always seemed dubious to me how self-esteem alone was expected do anything else but make a person feel better about him/herself, and now meta-analysis proves it can’t. Feminists should be holding themselves responsible for the high standard of beauty. I rarely speak for other men because I don’t hold the values as they do, especially on relationships, but I believe men won’t care if all the women suddenly got uglier or fat. Men will take what they can get. Those men so inclined would just pick the least hefty or homely of the bunch.
In the meantime, in my own shallow way, I would still be judging potential mates by intellect alone; their physical qualities being unimportant as long as they were comfortable with their image, and my conviction is that if any woman was really smart enough, she can change her body to how she sees fit, and if she does it for herself and not for me, all the better. If I had a message to feminists, it would be: go ahead, lower the bar, if that makes you feel better. Don’t blame us just because you need us.
