I repeat, will the real Harry Potter please stand up? We’re gonna have a problem here.. Ya’ll act like you’ve never seen a kid wizard before, Jaws all on the floor like Voldemort just burst in the door, Started yelling “Adava Kedavra” worse than before, He first gets destroyed while trying to kill me, what a bore, It’s the return of the… “Aw wait, no wait, your kidding, he didn’t just say the spell I think he did, did he? ” And Dumbledore said… NOTHING YOU IDIOTS! DUMBLEDORE’S DEAD HE’S LOCKED IN MY CUPBOARD! HA HA! All the women love Lockhart, Chicka-chicka-chicka Mr.
Lockhart, I’m sick of him, look at him, Walkin around carrying his signing quill, scared of You-Know-Who, Yeah, but he’s so cute though! Yeah? Probably got a couple of screws up in his head loose, But no worse than having Scabbers in your bedroom, Sometimes, I just wanna go in Snape’s class and let loose, But can’t, yet Malfoy can say what his dad can do, “My father can do this, my father can do that. ” Well guess what? Who cares? And Trelawney is a loony bat. And Death is the message that she delivers to little kids, And expects them not to know of the fraud she really is!
Of course muggles are gonna know what a wizard is, By the time they hit for-tay, They see us weirdos in London, don’t they? , We ain’t nothin but mammals, Well, some of us cannibals who cut muggles open like cantalopes, So if we can curse dead animals and antelopes, Then there’s no reason that man and a monster can’t elope (ewww), So if you feel like I feel I got Snape’s Antidote, Witches wear your pantyhose, Sing the chorus, and it goes, I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a buncha’ dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up!
Please stand up! I’m Harry Potter, Yes, I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! Lockhart gotta make up his stories to sell books, Well I don’t, so curse him and curse you too! You think I give a crap about book awards? Half of you parents can’t understand me, so instead you ban me. “But Harry, what if you win? Wouldn’t it be weird? ” Why’so you guys can just lie to get me here, So you can sit me here next to Professor Snape, Rita Skeeter better switch me chairs, So I can sit next to Mr.
Weasley and Hagrid first, And hear em’ argue over who she insulted first, Little Git, put me on blast on Witch Weekly, “Oh he’s cute, but he’s cheatin on Hermione! Hehe”, I should break her quill in half and you’ll just see, I’ll show the wizard world how you gave Harry a bad rap, see? (AHH! ) I’m sick of you little Colin Creevy’s, all you do is annoy me, So I have been sent here to destroy you, And there’s a million others just like me, Who talk like me, who just don’t like bubotuber pus like me, Who dress like me, fly, talk, and cast spells like me, And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me!
I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up!
I’m like a Floo Powder trip to listen to, Cuz I’m only living proof, Of things that won’t die when protected by your ma in your living room, The only difference is I got the scar to, Show it in front of ya’ll, And I don’t gotta be tall or potion-coated at all, I just get on my broom and catch the snitch, And whether you like to admit it, I just catch it, Better than 90% of you Seekers out there.
Then you wonder how these kids can eat up these books like Botts’, It’s funny, at the rate I’m goin when I’m 17, I’ll be the only Wizard in Hogwarts who ain’t nerdy, Pinchin my nose when I’m walking in the Dungeons, Where that Snape jerk is, but this whole shrinkin potion isn’t workin! And every single person is a Voldemort lurkin, He could be working at magical things, Spittin on the DADA things, Or in the parkin lot, circlin, Screaming “Harry’s outa luck! ” With his windows down crashin into muggle trucks, So would the real Potter please stand up and put, One of those wands in each hand up, And be proud to be a Parseltounge, and a rule-breaker out of control, One more time, loud as you can, how’s it go? I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters,
So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! I’m Harry Potter, Yes I’m the real Potter, All you other Harry Potter’s, Are just a bunch dotters, So won’t the real Harry Potter please stand up! Please stand up! Please stand up! Ha ha, I guess there’s a Harry Potter in all of us. Let’s all stand up.
