On a cold winter day, lying like a lifeless body, she lay on the couch. Not a movement was made. Slung out on drugs, she left my 10-year-old sister with the responsibility of taking care of a 6-year-old child (me) when she could barely take care of herself. What kind of mother would do that’she would go missing in the midnight hour, leaving myself full of fear to close my eyes. For when I awoke, I would be living in a nightmare that would once become my reality. Being a child, the one thing you need in life are your parents for their inspirational guidance.
Seemingly, that was not what God intended for my life to consist of. Apart from having a great man (my dad) as the main provider in my life, many would think, Oh Tori has no struggles to live with, well in fact that statement is very inaccurate. At the age of 18, her first child was born. For her, it seemed like her dreams would never come true. Raising a child with little help could be hard for anyone, but at the same time you must grow up and take care of your responsibilities.
Only to find ut 4 years later, she is now going to be the mother of two, added more stress and responsibility to her already chaotic life. With the struggles comes pain and no desire to strive, she then headed down the wrong road and thats where the missing act of a mother began. I remember there were so many events in my life that my mother had missed, such as birthday parties, holidays, award ceremonies, and sporting events. Growing up, all of my other friends always had both parents at all of their childhood events. For me, having just my dad was the normal.
Not seeing or talking to my mom for months was something that I just had to get used to. The nurturing, protecting, and best friend act of a mother is something that Ive always missed in my life and will probably never have. As a child, many promises were made but were nearly always broken. Having anyone in your family who is addicted to drugs brings a lot of worries to your life. Flashes of negative images always occurred, like waking up and finding out your mother was dead, or she was arrested and would be in jail for a while, or even just finding out that she was nowhere in sight and could not be found.
Trust me, I have had visions of them all, but through out the negative aspects of her life, I have truly learned many lessons from her mistakes. As I get older, all of the pain remains the same within my heart and healing from the hurt that she has caused me will take plenty of time. Now that I have a younger sister I see a reflection of myself as a child, because she is going through the same promises and heartaches that I have been through.
I think of myself as her role model. I hope that she is paying attention to all the great things I have accomplished in life, at an early age of 18, with school and sports. As a young lady, I dream big and strive hard to accomplish the goals that I have set for my future, so that I never follow in my mothers footsteps. I have learned that life is a journey and many things can go wrong, but as long as you follow your faith and keep your head up anything can be done.
