It all started when little Jake was one month old. He quickly learnedthat boisterous wails would cause his grandmother, Betsy, to rush to his crib. He was well on his way to becoming a little dictator. Betsy, being a kind-hearted and compassionate woman, felt sorry for the boy because he had no father or mother to speak of. Betsy would perform on command every time the child uttered a whimper.
Her doctor suggested that she let the boy cry. He further explained that, in time, the child would get the hint that no one would be coming at his every whim. Jake’s rein of terror would have ended if his grandmother had taken her doctor’s advice, but she ignored the suggestion. The effect waspredictable: soon, Betsy was suffering from exhaustion. Is it any surprise that, by the time Jake reached his first birthday, his first word was no? Jake, please don’t throw your toys, his grandmother would plead sweetly.Order now
No! was Jake’s reply as he hurled a hard plastic ball at Granny. Eat your cereal, his Granny would say. With a sweep of his little hand, Jake knocked the cereal bowl to the floor while he bellowed another No!. All right, Jake, Granny replied, If you don’t like the cereal, I’ll fix you something else. Filled with hope, she mistakenly thought the boy would outgrow this behavior. By the time he was five years old, Jake did not hesitate to throw very public tantrums.
He once sprawled out on the department store floor, kicking and screaming because he had been denied a toy he wanted. Embarrassed by his behavior, Betsy quickly placed the toy in the shopping cart and proceeded through the checkout line. When they arrived at home, Betsy informed Jake that his behavior had been inappropriate. We don’t act like that in public, she explained. I am certain that the boy was thinking, Why not? It works.
When Jake was ten, Granny warned him that if he did not do his homework he would not be allowed to go camping with his friends the following month. Jake promised to do his homework, but a phone call from the school confirmed that he had not turned in a single homework assignment during the entire semester. After a mild scolding, the lad made a half-hearted attempt to finish his assignments. He complained that the work was too hard, and that he didn’t understand the material. Grateful for the meager crumbs that Jake offered, Granny began to help him with his homework, often doing most of it herself.
Soon the time came for the camping trip. Wearing a halo and a pasted-on smile, Jake asked in his most angelic voice whether he could go. Granny consented. She was afraid that the boy would revert back to zero homework performance if she disallowed this outing.
At twelve, Jake had completed the last three years of his schooling by attending summer school. Every morning, Granny begged him to get up for school, but Jake lingered until he missed the school bus. Granny then dutifully drove him to school so that he would not be late. Of course, the cafeteria food was not good enough for him, so Jake was handed a ten dollar bill each morning to purchase two hoagies and a large soft drink at the local convenience store. By the time Jake turned fourteen, he was roaming the streets with hisfriends every night past curfew. Demanding to wear the latest and most expensive fashion, he got what he wanted.
Jake was denied nothing by his grandmother. Smoking cigarettes, getting drunk, and mouthing off to Granny in the most foul language had become a way of life for Jake. Finally acknowledging that Jake was well on his way to becoming ajuvenile delinquent, Betsy decided to take him to a psychologist. Despite paying thousands of dollars towards the cause, she could discern no positive changes.
The psychologist diagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder, which now gave Jake a handy excuse for his inappropriate behavior. Soon, Betsy was on the phone with her oldest son, Dennis. She complained that Jake would not listen to her. She cried, wondering where she had gone wrong. After two years of phone calls and letters to her son and daughter-in-law, Betsy .