I think of myself as a “grey” person. When I first began thinking about my values, the term seemed to be extremely black and white so I immediately determined I did not have any values that were strong enough to make my decisions for me or influence my life. I like to see the world from many perspectives and I do not like to overtake anyone with beliefs I feel strongly about. This creates a delicate balance of having high expectations for myself and low expectations of others, but a lack of moral substance. There is one constant in my life and that is my belief in God. When I am being emotionally healthy, this drives my life and my decisions on a daily basis. The two subcategories of values which come from knowing God and having him be an active part of my life are love and growth. I recognize that Christ dwells within me, and in everyone I encounter. I want my life to reflect His love and the growth, to the people around me.
I value love. Love is funny. Maybe that is why I really do like love so much since I love a good sense of humor in this world. I think love is funny about how it can and should move freely in both directions to the giver and receiver and vice versa. Love is also scary. Maybe that is also why I like it so much, I like how love is unpredictable. It requires bravery and desire and all those emotions that make you know you are fully alive. I can be brave enough to break my own heart, as well as loving fully those around me. I see Christ in love and I know his love. I know that above all I belong to God and that He loves me.
I am strengthened by his love and this eternal love follows me in life and is evident through my experiences with the love I am shown daily. Because of this love I experience comfort sharing myself with others. Love is one of my core values because I know there is not a problem love, especially sacred love cannot solve. This goes into all my decisions because I have been loved with God’s love. I make decisions that make my heart grow bigger, I am driven by decisions that drive me to compassion. This love makes me want to offer forgiveness and expect to be forgiven. This love makes me want to embrace friendship. I have learned through love to take on adventures and life’s evadible challenges. I am confident in God’s love for me and God’s love for everyone.
Growth is also a major aspect of my life. I do not enjoy being stagnant, which may come from my fear of having to stick with plans. I like being able to expand on my life and grow into my sense of the world. When I grow I know that I am unique, strong, and part of something bigger than myself. My major indicator that growth is such a large part of my life is due to the fact that when I grow I can see my life clearly and I am able to pick out the patterns that are useful for my success and the patterns which harm my sense of self. When I grow I am able to think deeply and see the world for the beautiful place God created it to be known for. When I am stagnant I am simply a person with semi-truthful stories and exaggerated hand motions but painfully little else. So I must make decisions that propel me forward and will contribute to growing. I know I have to grow. If I am not growing in some shape or fashion I am not my best self.
I want to discover God’s love in my life and in the world. I want to grow and deepen in the fullness of everything around me to explore. I want to fall into the love of Christ and through this I know I will grow stronger into my true self. Through love and growth I know that I am unique, strong, part of something bigger than myself, and that I am accepted. All of these aspects drive my life because this is how I want and yearn for everyone to feel. Because I have love and growth at my core, I welcome new experiences with open arms. I am ready to feel the embrace of life and Christ because of the values that I hold near to me. The two work together because I want to grow in love but also I need love to grow.
