What about death and dying is so interesting yet an important part and concept of everyone’s life. Death is one who instantly leaves without pain, suffering just no longer a part of the living humanistic world. Dying is painful, consist of suffering, both ends of the spectrum as well as expected or known of, but all at the same time unexpected. No one is ever ready for these to happen. We know that we are not forever alive, however, we want to be forever alive. The word “alive” just as the word “death” has different meanings or ways, however; accepting is the hard part.
From my understanding during this course and Professor Yahia’s explanations on both death and dying, is that the definition of death we always think of as a negative, but in many instances it may be a positive. Death can happen in many ways of life, we can end a new relationship because it was toxic and emotion take the best of us, futuristically it is sometimes for the best, later on we come to the acceptance of it. Death can also happen with a loved one, one day they are there and the next day they are gone without leaving a trace or explanation. These deaths affect in a strong negative way when we have not learned how to cope with losing someone so close. Dying is a little more understanding because we know that something will be gone or lost and we must accept within a time frame. Again acceptance of any type of death is the most complex and harder to do.
While researching on the topic of both death and dying, I found an article that focused primarily on a “good death”. Studies were done where there were high percentage shown for life completion (80%). In dignity, quality of life and presence of family 70% of the study showed for these categories each. Other categories showed a 65% in comparison to a 50% for religious/spirituality or even family presence. The study was done on a group of both 65 year olds in comparison to those in assisted living (hospice). Other examples of a “good” or rather an accepting form of death come from clips by Mitch Albom, Viktor Frankl, and Randy Pausch. All of these men have one thing in common they accepted death in a learning yet positive perspective. In a facility such as hospice, it mainly focuses on the sole purpose of catering to the needs of someone who is dying, this can be for a someone who is young as well as the elderly.
“Zara Brenner said, Deaths are interpreted as failures, and people don’t take pride in what they could not accomplish. In the hospice/palliative care unit, success is defined by the quality of the process, not by the outcome” (Jaenicke, C.,2002). In life we are given a time frame to do what we want, when we want and how we want. We are given a chance to make a difference because we are all different. While doing my research I also found an article, it is an interview with a RN/BSN, her name is Zara Brenner and she spoke about the care that Hospice does for an individual that is going through the stage of dying and the process of accepting death. She also says that in our society we view death differently then other country’s because we are so used to the technology as opposed to knowing and really understanding that we all will eventually go through this stage. In all my research I found that they all speak on acceptance and the stages we go though as the person dying and those who go through the experience.
What is the concept of both life and mortality, I believe that you live and you learn, sometimes your chances are slim like in everything. We must always be prepared so to speak, be ready but not live in fear. Life is a chance to be different and make a difference to leave behind. Mortality is a rate to ratio depending on age, lifestyle and sometimes illnesses. I have learned to live life and take it day by day, however I still work on many flaws that I have and I try to change because I want to. Since I have several health problems then I see my odds against life and more towards mortality.
While doing my research I found that death is not always a negative and it is defined in many ways. I also read on coping skills for both the person passing and the family. In class I was able to better extend my knowledge on death and the many meanings of death. During our life time we pass through a crisis every 7 years, these are known as our skinny cows or “deadly situations”. This course has made it easier to understand the significance of death and how to view and except in a more positive manner. Before this course I only knew that death was in the flesh of someone who lives but now I have more of a perspective that death nor dying has to always be about a particular person.
My personal experience with death has brought good and bad moments. I have lost people that were very close to me and in the midst lost myself. I have gained knowledge in life through my own personal “deaths,” they have made me the person I am today, but I still have more coming and eventually my last breath.
Accomplishments in life are many and sometimes they are cut short. I would love to finish school , own a home and a car, make a better future for my son and build a great communicative relationship with my son. I would like to compromise with my mother,have a better relationship with her. Accept and love myself. Travel the world, see what is really out there and experience it all. Take more risks without overthinking nor worrying about tomorrow or the future. Not having to worry about money.
I would like to die in peace, by myself, away from everyone and everything. I love the beach so an island with water all around it would be the idea, preferably Hawaii. I no longer want to be around the negativity or the vibes of others. I would not like for people to talk about me weather good or bad. What people did not do or say while I was alive, to late at that point so why not. Finally able to leave the materialistic world without any worries.
How I die and where I end up, are the biggest concerns and fear of death for me. I still have unanswered questions, but I guess I will find out in time or when I die. I do not believe in just one form of the afterlife, I have some theory’s of what it might be like, who might be there and if it really is the end. Another concern of mine is having a real life death experience and staying alive after it in a mentally vegetative state. If and when I die I would like it to be my last breath without pain and suffering not only for myself but for those that around me. I would hate to be seen or felt sorry and in pity towards me.
Symbolic immortality in my life means that I need to “do it differently” and in the right way meaning a happy, serene, fulfilling, and righteous way. Because I grew up in a catholic home, I believe in the doctrine, however I still have questions and I do not abide by the commandments. So symbolic immortality in the eyes of the church I am no where near heaven, as far as my afterlife who knows where I will end up. God will judge and decide for himself what to do with me.
References
- (2019). Retrieved January 27, 2019, from https://www.apa.org/topics/death/index.aspx
- Carr, D. (2012). Death and Dying in the Contemporary United States: What are the Psychological Implications of Anticipated Death? Retrieved January 27, 2019, from https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/3ff8/741864cb465e5627318e2dfcbf8c0e17830e.pdf
- Jaenicke, C. (2002, June 01). Acceptance of death and dying. Retrieved January 27, 2019, from http://ccn.aacnjournals.org/content/22/3/18.2.full
- Meier, E. A., Gallegos, J. V., & Jeste, D. V. (2016, April 24). Defining a Good Death (Successful Dying): Literature Review and a Call for Research and Public Dialogue. Retrieved January 27, 2019, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4828197/
