My family has grown by the way of interracial adoption. Interracial adoption is when you adopt a child from a different race other than your own. My husband and I realized there would be difficulties raising African American children. We were unprepared for the depths of these problems. My husband and I have four children. Elizabeth is our oldest daughter. She resembles her dad with his light skin and light brown hair. She is a caring and loving young lady. She does get a bit to bossy with her younger siblings. David is our oldest son and his skin is lighter than his younger siblings.
His gross motor skills are extraordinary. He plays soccer, basketball, baseball and hockey. He excels at every one of them. He is soft spoken and shuts down easily when he thinks you are upset with him. Deanna is our youngest daughter. Her skin is a bit darker than David’s. She is known as our “girlie girl”. She loves shoes, makeup, clothes, Bratz dolls and shopping. She can be stubborn in some areas, which tends to get her in trouble. Daniel is our youngest son and is the darkest of our three African American children.
He is not afraid of anyone or anything. He will tell you how to do it and how fast it should get done. He also has been the most challenging child to parent. His stubbornness and temper tantrums can be overwhelming at times. Our first bit of racism came from our daughter Elizabeth before we adopted David, Deana and Daniel. When Elizabeth was 7 we were going through the adoption process. The social worker asked her “What do you think about having a brother and a sister who will be black? ” She thought for a moment and said, “I don’t think I will like it”.
I could not believe what I just heard. My husband and I had talked and talked about adopting African American children with her, she never said anything negative about it. The social worker asked her another question “Why”‘she said “It won’t be fair when we play hide and go seek in the dark, I won’t be able to see them”. Needless to say we all had a good laugh. Do I view this as a form of racism? not really and I will explain why. According to Jean Piaget, Elizabeth was in “prerules” stage of her cognitive development.
During these years youngsters do not comprehend the rules adults use to determine racial group membership Wright 94. I understand our family attracts a great deal of attention. We have encountered stares, questions, compliments and comments from people. I was not prepared for the prejudices that I have experienced so far. A white mother of a black child sums up my experiences with my own children. “I used to oppose it on principle; now it’s personal. When I am alone with my son, I am treated very differently than I am treated when I am either by myself, with my husband, or even with our whole family.
The assumption when I am alone is that I am involved or have been involved with a black man and I am treated inferior. There are stores that require ID for my check when I am with my son but not when I am by myself. I’ve been followed by store security. I understand just a bit of what my son will face as a black man, but most important I understand that it’s only a small piece of what will be his experience” Alperson, Myra 140. I understand what this woman has and will go through, it just happened at Wal-Mart the other day with my youngest son.
We were standing in line and the gentleman behind me asked, “is he adopted”? I have answered in the past “yes he is”. This time I answered, “no he is mine” all the while I was lovingly touching his nappy head. The man behind me just went “Umm”. I left it at that paid for my items and left. Discrimination hurts everyone, but white parents are especially susceptible to the surprise, because we don’t anticipate it Steinberg and Hall 85. In closing my family is multicultural unlike most families. Would I change it if I could? Never.
My husband and I have difficulties ahead as we raise our children. Our children will have difficulties they need to face being raised by white people and also by the color of their skin. One of my primary goals in life is to see that my children are raised in a loving home and have people around them that love them for who they are and look beyond the color of their skin. In my inability with words and my own confusion in regards to prejudices, I must read, think and write in order to endure what lies ahead for my family.
