Retaining a healthy, dependable relationship is still a mystery to this day. No one is aware of the hard and expeditious mystery to ‘making it work,’ however so many attempts to give his or her all to accomplish just that. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of maintaining an already positive relationship or patching up a relationship that requires a little avail. Relationship maintenance is something that everybody does sooner or later in his or her relationship; it just inclines to be small sacrifices and transmutes that we do not even realize we do
Maintaining and Repairing Relationships
People continue to act in a manner that keeps their relationships relaxed and stable. Reflecting on healthy relationship maintenance is another focus to bring about relationship gratification. Conventional and clear communication, as well as interpretation, is crucial to a beneficial relationship. Some sources even suggest laying out the conflicts on paper and revisiting them till there is an answer. That is only one kind of repairing approach to keep a hearty affiliation of any nature. Applicable research has also observed that perceptions of equity affect the choice to preserve quality relationships (Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L., 1992: 2009).
Relationship maintenance is a process by which one party in the relationship realizes that they are a piece of the puzzle and is in charge of doing their part. The structure of the relationship would not stand without A, B and C, and they are responsible for bringing those to the table. Someone in a committed romantic relationship, for example, would commence apperceiving him or herself as a moiety of the puzzle more than the whole box. Their life becomes less important individually and will commence including the other partner’s plans, wants and dreams and will maintain the overlap.
Differences in language referencing both parties in the relationship would include verbiage like “us,” “we,” “ours,” as opposed to “me,” “my,” and “mine,” this is called “Cognitive Interdependence” (Miller 427). This is a standard however consequential flag that often gets ignored in the foundation of relationships. When the verbiage reverts, that is said to be a non-verbal signal that the person who remarked, does not experience the same secure connection they once felt and might even want to give up the relationship.
Idealizing a companion is a common coping tactic with what could be seen as a partner’s imperfections. Irrespective of what that partner has done in the past or is currently doing, it somehow has become a decisive factor to the antithesis character. That is referred to as “Positive Illusion” (Miller 427). All deficiencies are visible to be trivial and relatively unimportant, and all bad judgments and terrible conduct are regarded as unintended or transient. This is the ‘do no wrong’ notion technique, that has pushed through underdeveloped interpretation. Idealization tends to arise in adolescents most commonly and younger adults, however, are present in the adult population, which generally tend to have more of a social deficit, consequently grasp to even the smallest quantity of interest.
When a relationship is not regarded as a long-term or forever relationship, those people generally tend to look at their different options regularly and keep them on hand, as a sort of a backup plan. Without ending the relationship that they find not permanent, they will preserve the companionship, regardless of how facetious it may be to them, and still, keep a watch on the horizon for something better or greater fulfilling. Variably looking around for another or a better-suited partner, this is referred to as ‘Derogation of Tempting Alternatives.’ Additionally, being most common among the younger aged population, this is a common match-hunting tactic. One companion who shows those behaviors is probably less worried, extra distant, trying space to be with other humans even on an informal basis and views their present-day relationship as less important than what else may be obtainable.
Behavior Maintenance is the act of making a sacrifice to further the enjoyment of their partner. Most couples have two people who are very different in ideas, sometimes beliefs, at least in something as trivial as what activities or culinary choices that interest them. A behavioral maintenance aspect would be letting your partner choose where to dine that night, even though you do not want to go to the restaurant they suggested, you do it to promote mutual prosperity in the relationship. This can also come with a toll when one party feels as though they are always making a single sacrifice and are feeling deprived. This is a common occurrence, not always because of selfishness, but expelling excessive amounts of energy at work or in their home life and a pure lack of attention to detail.
Accommodation and Forgiveness are vastly important in the maintenance of a meaningful relationship, romantic or otherwise. Accommodation is when one party can be verbally angry with another and the second party takes it into account, understands what the complaint was about and moves on with it. This is generally when forgiveness comes into play. Understanding that not everyone is perfect is critical and even more of a factor now that we have social media where people strive to be perfect in every way. Perfect does not exist, but being able to perceive and forgive, may be a characteristic that someone will view as a building block to a perfect mate. This world could use more understanding and forgiveness, which is a vital part of relationship maintenance, on both sides of the fence.
Being content in a partnership is all-encompassing important. For some people that means they need to have their partner on their arm, out in public all gussied up and singing their praise. For others, something as simple as a night at home playing board games with their neighbors could be the time of their life. Every person is different, therefore going from a relationship where you had to go out to have a good time, to a partnership when you stay home and play games on a Saturday, you can treat them the same because they are not. Having commonalities is essential, whether it be friends, activity interests, fashion sense, or entertainment, it is vital to feeling that one can share their thoughts and opinions with the other. This retrospect is foundational quality to a content relationship.
All in all, the status of a relationship will never be as the one that came before it. Commonalities, enjoying each other’s company and being capable of connecting on some emotional stage are all crucial approaches to preserve a relationship healthy as well as progress it to another level. Preventative maintenance such as talking out the tough matters, disagreements, variations of evaluations, the lengthy-variety image of the partnership are all ways to hold the perspective of you and them. Figuring out fears, goals and avoiding blame can assist people to get beyond the difficult times and further a healthful, properly-balanced interdependency. In the long run, all relationships need acknowledgment of the matters that are not working and the conclusion of the matters which might be. No relationships will ever be identical, so they needed to be treated differently and nurtured as a result.
References
- Aurier, P., N’Goala, G. (2010, June). The differing and mediating roles of trust and relationship commitment in service relationship maintenance and development. Journal of the Academy of Marketing Science, 38(3), 303–325. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s11747-009-0163-z
- Bedrick, D. (2013, Oct 31). Building & Repairing Trust: Keys to Sustainable Relationship. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/is-psychology-making-us-sick/201310/building-repairing-trust-keys-sustainable-relationship
- Canary, D. J., & Stafford, L. (1992: 2009, Jun 02). Relational maintenance strategies and equity in marriage. Communication Monographs, 59(3), 243-267. doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/03637759209376268
- Gordon, L. H. (2016, Jun 9). Intimacy: The Art of Relationships, How Relationships are Sabotages by Hidden Expectations. Retrieved from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/196912/intimacy-the-art-relationships
- Lambert, N. M., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Expressing gratitude to a partner leads to more relationship maintenance behavior. Emotion. American Psychological Society, 11(1), 52-60. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0021557
- Maner, J. K., Gailliot, M. T., & Miller, S. L. (2008, Jan 08). The implicit cognition of relationship maintenance: Inattention to attractive alternatives. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.08.002
- Miller, S. (2009). Intimate Relationships,. New York, NY,: McGraw-Hill,. Retrieved Nov 18, 2018
- Simon, E. P., & Baxter, L. A. (2009). Attachment‐style differences in relationship maintenance strategies. Western Journal of Communication, 416-430 . doi:https://doi.org/10.1080/10570319309374465
