Dave Peltzer the author of The Lost Boy tells his story from the time he left hisabusive mother and alcoholic father, through his experiences in five foster homes andjuvenile detention, and how he eventually made it into the Air Force. He was a defiant,rebellious boy who, despite his background and personality, managed to endear himselfto many guardians, social workers, and teachers. Pelzer writes in an honest, sometimesrambling, style; he is never bitter, and his story will find many sympathetic readers. Themain purpose for Dave to write this book is to show at what lengths children andadolescents have gone to over come the unmentionable hardships of and abusive family.
The three most valuable things I have learned from this book are very hard tochoose. The book was full of many things to help me in my everyday life. Ranging fromhow to deal with kids who have be through abusive situations to how kids of abuse act ingeneral. The first one has to be, Dave was very tactful in how he handled his thoughts andfeelings. Many children his age are running around chasing girls and hanging with theguys. Not him he was studying hard and trying to be better than his parents were.
Hewould always squander away what he had, so no one could take what was rightfully hisand that includes his life. The second thing that was useful was how Dave was neverangry with his situation he would just look at it as another challenge. Many times throughout the book Dave would have to change foster homes after being fairly settled in theway of living there. Most teens his age cant handle a great deal of change but Davewould just go with the flow and never bat an eye lash. The third most valuable thing hasto be his willingness to help.
I would think that since no one would help him he wouldnot help anyone else. On the contrary, Dave was always helping with chores, makingdinner, and doing little extra things he didnt have to do. I later found out through readingthe book that Daves willingness to help stems from his need to feel loved and wanted. I can honestly say that I could never have gone through the painstaking trials andtribulations Dave went though while he was in his teen yes. It take a special person to dothat and Dave is that special person. PARENTING TECHNIQUESDaves mother was a very troubled woman who for some unknown reason liked totarget Dave and blame him for any and all bad things that happened.
His mother was andAuthoritative and neglectful at the same time. Some may say how can one parent be onboth extremes of things but there are a few instance with in the book which shows both. For example Daves mother would make him do all the chores and never was aloud toplay. For some reason even if Dave finished what he was told to do in the time he wastold to do it he would not be fed or worse he would be part of his mother Games andTest.
His mothers Games and Tests range from putting him in freezing cold water for5 hours at a time to making him sit on the garage steps with his hands under his bottomhead strait a head for up to 36 hours at a time no food, bathroom, shower or other needs tolive. Dave was saved from this horror when he was 15 but he was in foster care and theparenting techniques ranged from authoritarian to indulgent, but anything was better thanwhat he had endured at his mothers house. DELINQUENCYDave in his teen years was for the most part a very well behaved boy. He wasworking hard in school and kept to himself for the most part. Although Dave did have asmall problem he like to take things with out asking or stealing. Daves stealing habitsstem from his basic survival needs that he instinctively put up when his mother wouldmake him go with out food, water, and basic sanitation.
Dave at times would also lashout at his foster families so that they would not get to close to him. In some cases whenDave would lash out he would be put into another foster home and have to readjust tothings again. Dave usually liked to lash out he thought he didnt need anyone just himself. He could handle himself since he could handle his mother Games and Tests.
Davesdelinquent actions are fairly normal of abused and neglected teens. Dave was also justbeing a normal teen trying find himself in a world that had not found him for almost 12years. DEPRESSIONDave did have a great deal of depression in his life. He would think why does mymother treat me like I am a piece of *censored*? Daves depression stemmed from he long oursof being with himself.
He had many hours, day, months, and years to think about what hehad done. His mother made him out to be an evil unwanted child who was worthless. Dave thought the main reason his mother didnt like him and his father wouldnt talk tohim any more that he had failed as a son. Not till Dave was in foster care and his fosterparents brought him to a therapist did Dave realize what had happened to him was to hisfault and Dave was a normal boy.
His mother was suffering from alcoholism and manicdepression and her outlasted were targeted at him cause he was his fathers pride and joy. His father ignored him to please his wife (Daves mother). His father also started drinkingto drowned his sorrows. SUICIDEYou would think that since Dave was so brutally abused and his own motherstabbed him almost to death with out even drinking him to the hospital he would havewanted even once to kill himself. I know that if anyone did anything like Daves motherdid to me and I had to change homes 7 different times and had kids picking on me cause Ismelled or I didnt have a real mom or dad I would want to kill myself.
Not Dave, he onlyworked harder to live and please anyone including his mother so that in hopes she wouldstop this unlawful actions against him. Not once did Dave even want to end his lifeinstead of thinking negatively he would say When I get older and out of here, I will be abetter man I will be the man my father once was. Dave during his time at his mothershouse always held his dad on a pedestal. No mater what happened Daves dad wasSuperman to him. Dave would think of flying away with his dad to a better place wherehe would be a person not just a Child called It (Peltzers first book). Dave also vowedthat if her were to kill himself that he would only be surrendering to him mothers wishesand even though he tired to please his mother that is the one thing he would not let herhave was his well deserved life.
ANOREXIA-BULIMIA NERVOSAThe way Daves mother treated him is shocking. There was one way that Davesmother had complete control over him and that was what he could and couldnt eat. Mostof the time Dave was not permitted to eat. When Dave went to school he would stealother kids lunches so that he could eat food that was not spoiled. Dave did get in troublefor this sever times. After the third time Daves mother made him run home faster than allthe other children and vomit in to the toilet to see if he had stolen.
Daves mother wouldsome make him eat rotten pork and chicken one every 3 weeks that is the only food hewould get and if Dave purged he would have another Game and Test to do for hismother. Dave had become so good at hiding what he had ate that he would vomit beforehe left school so that he could at least enjoy his home or at least what home he had. Daveat times would try to steal food that his brothers didnt eat but if he was caught he wouldhave to go in the tub of ice water or deal with the pneumonia and bleach combination inthe bathroom with no ventilation. When Dave made is way out of his mother house intofoster care. Dave would try to salvage food so that if by chance the foster family wouldnot let him eat he would be able to have food. If Dave was caught with the food he hadtaken and his foster family went to talk to him he would go to the bathroom and vomit sothat he would please them.
I feel Dave Peltzer has been through an unimaginable childhood and adolescentlife. I think the book is a heart felt story of a boys struggle for acceptance and aiming toplease those around him. I feel if anyone can over come what Dave has over come thatwhat he tells is accurate in the most scary way possible. Scary in a sense that anyonecould handle such hard ships and still be alive to tell about it.
Dave was stabbed,poisoned, neglected, beaten, uprooted from him home at age 15, bounced from fosterhome to foster home without having a real place to call home. I think that this book addressed the real things that happen to a child of abuse. Forthere initial home life to the bounce from foster care home to home. The real issue in thebook that child abuse is everywhere in every degree. Some are hidden ways such asverbal and some are so extreme that a child has no where to turn but to the abuse itself.
This book more than anyone could imagine my anticipations and expectationswere met 120%. The book was very descriptive and helpful on how to deal with teens incrisis. I would recommend this book and Dave Peltzers other two books. The main reason isthat the book describes Dave’s journey to find acceptance and a place to call home really touchedmy soul. The tears I cry for all the kids out there that need a voice to be heard. Mrs.
Gold is Godsend She was Daves social worker she took the time to understand Daves story and be his voicefor him. We need more people in the Human Services field like the one’s who have helped Davein his journey. This book is a good book for people who work in any type of Human Service jobsuch as a YMCA or a foster family just to show at what lengths kids will go to be safe and saved.Psychology Essays
