One of my strongest emotional skills is empathy, where I can understand what others are feeling and what they are going through. If I can understand their feelings, and if they are going through a tough situation, I can help in a lot of ways. I can be there for emotional support, as a good listener, and to provide helpful feedback. Empathy is the ability to feel and understand another person’s emotions, and to be able to put yourself in that person’s position. Overall, I believe empathy helps me be a better friend, partner, student, and family member.
I believe an awareness of my emotional intelligence makes me a better person. My emotional skills help make me a better classmate and student. Emotional intelligence helps me solve problems with reduced conflict, and emotional intelligence helps me support others in their times of need. Emotional intelligence provides greater self-awareness, where I can be more in tune with others around me. My emotional skills also allow self-regulation, where I can keep my emotions under control in difficult situations. Emotional intelligence also provides internal motivation to be successful at work, school, and relationships. Lastly, emotional intelligence provides social skills to help in challenging situations.
An example of my emotional intelligence involves my friend Mary. She was considering dropping out of high school, because her grades were poor and her parents were giving a hard time. Mary was not a great student, and she struggled in classes like math and science (as I do). She would try her best, but asking Mary to do a Geometry problem would be like asking me to speak Chinese. As much as I might like to speak Chinese, it will not happen, and eventually I will give up. That example demonstrates Mary’s relationship with math (and, to a lesser degree, science).
Mary talked with me about her situation, and at first I did nothing but listen. She talked for many hours, and just by my listening and demonstrating empathy, she said she felt much better. My experiences with math and science are similar, and it was classes like Geometry (that I tried to pass twice in regular high school and couldn’t do it) and Chemistry that led me to Penn Foster High School. I think from our conversation Mary no longer felt alone in her struggles with school.
Next, Mary and I wrote a pros and cons list regarding her dropping out of school. It turns out the pro list was very short and only included items such as “no further hassles from parents” and “no more homework”. The con list was much lengthier, and included “difficulties finding good job”, “missing friends”, “will miss many big school events”, and many other items. We discussed the pros and cons list for many hours. I believe Mary felt better that some thought was going into her decision, rather than her making the decision hastily.
Mary said she wanted to think about her decision overnight. The next day we talked again, and Mary said she wanted to stay in school. She said that quitting school would be a hasty and shortsighted decision, and finishing high school would provide her with much better options in life. She thanked me over and over for being there for her, and she said the most important thing I did was listen to her vent and complain. She said that her parents and school counselor did not listen to her, but instead continued to lecture her on what she should or shouldn’t do. Mary said that by talking through her options with me, and with me listening and not trying to instruct her, her decision to finish high school made more and more sense to her.
I’m very happy to say that Mary finished high school, and now she is a Private in the U.S. Army. She credits our long conversation, and the empathy I demonstrated, in helping her make this good decision. It took a lot of time on my part to listen and not rush her, and I’m glad I took that time to help her get to a better place.
In conclusion, emotional intelligence is understanding the feelings of others, understanding your own feelings, and using those understandings to approach situations in a thoughtful manner. My strongest skill is empathy, where I can understand what others are feeling and what they are going through. I believe this skill helps me understand what others are going through in difficult situations. Emotional intelligence helps me be a better person, because I can understand others’ circumstances and emotions. Overall, emotional intelligence is an important part of my life, and something I will work to understand and improve over my lifetime.
