1: Shock-Denial: This stage is when the patient first hears about his/her illness, and this is where the patient is saying “no, not me” and “it can”t be me”. During this time they will also ask a numerous amount that “is the results wrong”, or “could you check my results again please”.
2: Rage/Anger: There are two things to remember when dealing with this stage, which is that; anger is never personal, its more generalised. This means that no matter what, the patient never blames the people around them, but prefers to blame her/himself, or sometimes the whole world. Another part of the Rage/Anger stage is the “Why me” mini stage. This constitutes the patient to ask the people around him/her, but more prominently God. This behavior leads up to the bargaining stage.
3: Bargaining: This stage is when the patient has accepted his/her fate temporarily. This is so as it may seem that s/he is under control so s/he can bargain, more easily sway the recipient. The most usual case of bargaining is with God, for example “If you let me live one more day, ill become a good Christian and go to church everyday”. These patients never really do what they promised. They maybe try to bargain with a member of the hospital staff, as well. This is not the final peace, only a temporary truce.
4: Depression: – Reactive This mini-stage is when the patient starts to feel despair because s/he can”t hold or see in some cases their kids, or see another sunrise, et cetera. This is when memories of their life come back to them on their hospital bed. This is further accentuated by preparatory silent grief. This is when they wish they could do something they always used to, but hasn”t missed it until it is gone form them, in example they would like to see their children again. – Weaning off This other mini-stage is out of the two the most serious, due to the patients unwillingness to see people, the number of visitors goes down less and less. This is where the patient has none or only marginal cares about the outside world, politics, or when. The male patients in this stage have a major problem, because dealing with this level of depression makes them want to cry. This is hard due to our society where it is a “disconcerting” look at the man”s sensitivity. The man is ashamed of himself if he weeps in the presence of anyone else.
5: Acceptance: This is referred to as the OK stage. It is when the patient fines inner peace with her/himself. This stage has no fear, but bliss. The patient does not show any other stages once into this stage. This is, however, a trying time for the family and/or doctors and nurses because they want the patient to continue. The physician can”t let go of the patient and tries to prolong her/his life, while the wife in particular say that a man can”t die because the wife cannot handle the responsibilities of what the man did, for example mortgages, children.
Note: This stage is sometimes confused with Resignation, which is when the patient could not care less about her/his ordeal, thinks that the pain is not worth it and wishes to die.
