I wish I hadnt grown up so fast. Its just too much, too sudden. I feels as if it was only yesterday that I had no worries. I could look back and have little, to no regrets. I didnt feel as if I had to please someone, to coexist with them. Life now is full of responsibilities. Grades. Friends. Parents. Being a teenager in general. When I was little, the future was so far away. I didnt spend very long thinking about who and what I wanted to be. I can think about that later, was the mantra running in my head. Now, everything is very close.
I didnt even realize the journey Ive been through, It was just the way it was. The world I once knew has lost its innocence. It has gotten cynical. More cynical than my parents can remember. My eyes have opened. As soon as I grew up, it wasnt the same. All the people around me is chasing popularity over real friends. True friends are harder to find. Theyre hidden behind the cautiousness of all teenagers. What to say, think and who to talk to. How can you know for sure, that someone is not going to like what you said and then start a rumor?
Who will want to betray you? When you are a teenager there will be times when youll be surrounded by hundreds of fake friends, they will talk behind your back, they will lie to your face, and they will not truly like you. Not for whom you really are. There might even be times when you wont have any friends at all, but thats just a step you have to overcome to figure out who will be the ones you are going to grow old with. The ones you can still laugh at the crazy stuff you did together. Maybe you will find them later in your life.
Its never too late to make true friends. However, it still hurts to have no one, even if only for a short while. Growing up hurts, its full of nostalgia. I remember the old cartoons I used to laugh my butt off at, the times when I lay in bed, listening to a bedtime story. Having that pure untouched mind. The hardest decision was what ice cream flavor I wanted or what toy to play. Why do some people want to run away from their childhood? The silliness and the goofiness. What happened to having a good time playing outside with your friends?
They want to grow up. They want to get out of school as soon as possible; they want to go away to college, to be away from their parents. A new apartment, a new city. Yes, you can do whatever you want now. Yes, its your own place, but its not home. Its doesnt have that warm feeling. You may say that you are glad to be away from you annoying parents. One day they will be gone. You are getting older and so are they. Youll get homesick every now and then. Moms old cooking, your fathers bad jokes. Once you grow up, its gone.
If I had a remote control for life, I would scroll back to the good times, fast-forward the sad, re-live the awesome, and pause the moments that are slipping through my fingers. But time waits for no one. That is why we have memories. Sure, some may not be as happy as others may, but they are proof that you lived, you had good times, you cried, and youre human. Some memories are with us forever. To teach us. To remind us. To show us, that growing up, is a part of life. You are born, you grow up, and you die. That is how it has always been and that is how it will always be.
