“Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more”. This quote is the definition of me because I find happiness from serving others and not thinking about myself first. Thats what makes me happy and what makes other people feel happy is when you just give to them and love them. To start off my name is as you know Jacqueline Konzen and I was born at Scripps Hospital right here in San Diego and I have lived here ever since. I grew up in a christian household of 6 people with my mom (jennifer), dad (timothy), and my 3 brothers named Micah Nicholas and Landon.
There are three events that have shaped who I am today and that it my mission trip to Philadelphia a few summers ago, my baptism, and the passing of my dear friend Kiilani. Coming up this summer it will be three summers since I went on my first ever mission trip to Philadelphia. I was able to be put on the first ever Girl Corps where we worked alongside a group of special needs children where I was able to serve those children in activities like ziplining or basketball or canoeing.
I mainly worked at the zipline where I caught the children as they came down and made sure that they were in safe hands are they crossed back over to the other side. It may not sound like a lot of fun after my body was getting slammed one after another after another but really seeing their faces as they zipped down is what made it all worth it, and how exhilarated they were once they landed. I also had one of the other girls with me at times to just assist if needed which was super nice to have company because now up to today she is one of my best friends.
The group of girls on this mission trip was such a blessing in disguise, and each and everyone of them added such a vibrant feel to the group and an energy that never lost its spunk. We all grew extremely close to one another in the 2 weeks that we had together and I can definitely say that they are some of the most important people in my life till today and have been part of the shaping of who I was today. We have so many good memories together from laughter, to having mud fights, to adventuring through the woods, to worshiping God together with our whole hearts, and just downright loving each other.
It was extremely hard leaving these girls knowing that I won’t see them for who knows how long which broke my heart but I knew i was always going to have a special place in their heart and they would always have a special place in mine. I was so deeply impacted by this event in the way that I was able make lifelong friendships I knew I was never going to lose and I was taught so much beyond what my brain can sometimes fathom.
I’ve learned just about how to love someone and give them your heart to take care of them despite they may not give that back, also to be 100% honest with my friends and open about my life because that’s what is going to make a true friendship, and to just live life in the moment and to not hold anything back. God has a big say in my life which is why I decided to get baptized almost 2 years ago to prove to myself and others that I was going to dedicate my life to God and God only. On october 22nd, 2013 I was baptized in the ocean of the Del Mar beach, and that was the most wonderful and best day of my life.
It started out as an idea that I just wanted to know God and build a relationship with Him in 8th grade so I decided to study the bible in order to achieve some of those things. I had studied the bible for 3 years which actually is a very long time when some people get baptized after 2 weeks of studying the bible but that was because I had so much to grow in for my character and to just learn about. It was a long and difficult process but I knew it was leading me to make one of the best decisions in my life that I could make.
Once I got to the end point of studying the bible, I came to the spot where me and the people I was studying with believed I was ready to get baptized and to become a disciple of God and Jesus. The information was sent out to a bunch of friends and family that I wanted to get baptized, so then at 7pm everyone that wanted to come showed up at the beach. Everyone went around sharing about me, all positives. Once the sharing was finished the time had come where I had to go into the water and have a full immersion baptism.
I can’t even express how it felt going into the water and coming out so refreshed and could totally feel like a new person. I was so immensely impacted by this event because it changes my entire life and now I do nothing but everything for God. It has been 10 months since my good friend Kiilani passed away and each and everyday doesn’t get better. On July 23rd last summer I was at dinner with my dad in Philadelphia at an italian restaurant. I was currently on a mission trip with my church and that was the one night my dad could visit me on his business trip.
We were eating food, and I was enjoying a delicious heavenly margarita pizza that was to die for and I noticed had received a phone call from a good friend that was in Vegas who had been keeping in contact with me and updating me on how Kiilani was doing in the hospital. So I texted him asking “Whats up? ” but he didnt reply and instead called me. That was the worst phone call of my life and the worst thing to ever hear from a friend was that “I just wanted to let you know that Kii passed away this afternoon”. Instantly I started balling and couldn’t stop shaking.
I didnt know how to process that one of my closest friends had just passed. Throughout the entire night my dad had taken me back to the camp and he had left to go back to his job, and it was non stop crying and shaking. I continued to feel sick to my gut and not understanding why this just happened. She was getting better, and now she had to be taken from me. It has been an extremely tough 10 months without her here or even just being able to text her or call her like we used to but I do know for certain that she’s in a better place with God. My whole life changed because of this event and changed me as a person.
If someone has shocking news or a surprised look on their face the first thought I have is oh no someone died. I’m very sensitive to death and just the loss of someone and even watching the simple movies with knowing someone had died is hard for me. Especially going through the months of August-October I wasn’t depressed but so close to that and I didn’t even realize till February how big of a toll this death took on my heart and not closure or anything had been taken care of which made things all the more difficult for me emotionally and mentally.
But despite all of this and the aching in my heart there’s so much I have learned from all of this. It has made me a more appreciative person for life and for the moments I’m given with people, and to take advantage of everything that is put in front of my face. Also, that God’s timing is perfect and there is a reason why he took her. He was saving her from something devastating in the future that may have separated her from God, and that is wonderful to know and very calming for me to know where she is and the life she lived for God.
Overall I know it may seem really tough and such a difficult situation to go through but it has made me a better person today. So the three main events in my life that have shaped me to who I am today are my mission trip to philadelphia with Girl Corps, my baptism, and the passing of my dear friend Kiilani. Through all these events you can see how the quote relates back to me on how I get my happiness by loving and serving people, and not from what the world may give my from life experiences and learning from and letting them shape you to who you’re meant to be.
