Picture this: you have a pool of potential dates in a long, straight line; all waiting for you to pick them for an intimate encounter with you—be it out in the streets or into the sheets. No, this is not The Bachelor, and no, a television film crew doesn’t have to be involved. It’s merely just you, your smartphone, and a daredevil of a dating app. In an age where sex and romance are at the tip of our fingertips, finding future mates has been nothing but easy. Keeping them and sustaining a connection, however, is a different story. The Hollywood Condoms team went around and interviewed a bunch of empowered adults and had them share a few of their experiences from Tinder and Grindr. Meet Janet.
A course developer for a training institution, 29-year-old Janet feels empowered and in control of her career. “I’m not one who believes that love comes easy and quick. It bothers me when people say they’re in love after only two dates with a hottie,” she tells HC. “I got into Tinder because guys are easy access there, and I didn’t have to reject guys up front. It’s super convenient, and I get what I want only when I need it,” she adds. A self-confessed casual sex aficionado, she believes that dating apps help empower women and aid in eliminating the misogynistic belief that only men can sleep around. “I’ve had Tinder for about a year now, and I’ve chosen to meet up with roughly 20 guys only. I’ve slept with a little more than half of that number, and I’ve had great times with a few of them.” An occasional hopeless romantic, she adds that chemistry is difficult to forge, given the nature of hook-up arrangements.
“I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love with any of the guys I’ve gone out with from Tinder. I’ve had a huge crush on many of them. Some of them I’m still friends with up to this day. I remember, however—and, oh my god, I haven’t thought about this in ages—I remember really falling for a guy and hoping what we had would last,” she narrates to HC with a huge smile on her face and an apparent emptiness on her eyes. “Sadly it didn’t. I used to always think about him even on dates I went to after the last time we caught up,” she adds. That aside, is true love really impossible to find on Tinder?
“Honey, if you’re looking for a love that lasts, do not go on Tinder.”
Gem, on the other hand, had the opposite approach to dating apps. Her Secret? Her Vulnerability. A carefree 31-year-old publicist, she isn’t afraid to admit that a part of her isn’t comfortable not having a man beside her. “For the most part of my 20s, I didn’t need anyone by my side to lean on. I was my own Wonder Woman, and I had full control over my own emotions,” she tells HC.
“It wasn’t until I broke off a 3-year relationship when things took a different direction. I got used to having my ex take on so many roles in my life. He was everything to me, and he was everywhere. His constant presence made me forget I could ever do things on my own. It was like, a huge part of my confidence was hinged on him being around,” she says with sad eyes.
“I went into Tinder hoping for a distraction. I guess I just needed a man. I wasn’t particularly horny or anything, but I was praying to the universe that some guy picks me up and makes me feel whole again.”
“I was on the app for four months, I think, and I vividly remember sleeping with seven guys, before I met Alan, my fiancé now. I remember downloading Tinder for the very reason that I wanted to replace my ex as quickly as possible. I felt devastated. It was insane,” she continues sharing with relief in her eyes.
“But I didn’t expect true love to come out of this. Oh god, no. Now, I’m happy, and it’s been, what, two years now, since I uninstalled (Tinder) off my phone.” Does she have tips to those just starting out in the dating app scene? “Spread the love more than you spread your legs, and don’t be afraid to get hurt. You can outlive pain, but true romance outlives you.”
Marvin’s story is different. A 24-year-old automobile salesman, he describes himself as “mostly masculine” and your everyday boy-next-door “with a little belly.” “I was straight growing up—or at least that’s what everybody else knew about me,” he says shyly to the HC team, trying to avoid eye contact.
“I’ve had three girlfriends, had sex with two of them, watched straight porn with my bros, and did crazy other stuff normal male high-schoolers did. But I always knew I was interested in more than what was offered to me.” Wanna know the fun part about his story?
“It all started when I had to move to a different city because my boss needed someone from the company in a town where our brand was just starting,” he says starting to feel hyped about his own narrative. “I downloaded Grinder and started meeting guys off the bat. I figured: nobody knows me here. I might as well try new things.” Rather than exploring only the city, he went on to discover other aspects of his pushed back gender identity.
“I’ve taken such huge leaps of faith; I don’t ever see myself having sex with women only anymore.”
Has he ever fallen in love with a guy?
“I don’t even want to think about it. I am so hung up on a guy I met two months ago, it’s pathetic. He lives a mile from me, and we hit it off immediately. I have never, in my whole life, ever cried for a guy until now. He was a guitarist, and I’m a singer myself, and I guess the music we made was a little too much for my rhythm to handle—if you know what I mean.”
“He ghosted me. What an asshole. I began showing signs of wanting to commit, and he just straight up left. I feel used,” he blushes.
Three stories, three different people, three different outcomes. Whatever your deal, make sure always to be packed with a Hollywood Condom. Remember: happy endings come and go, but safe sex is forever. Do you identify with any of our three friends, or have a heartbreak story yourself over a failed online dating app romance? Comment your thoughts below, and don’t hesitate the craziest thing that you’ve ever taken out of a phone app encounter!
