Most people do not feel change taking place within them. One of the reasons why this is so might be because it is happening in every moment of our lives. Looking at it from a scientific view, babies are born intellectually empty, devoid of memory or experience. Every detail that our senses take in triggers reactions in our brain, though at most times it is unconsciously. All of these little details and experiences of our lives are what shape us and change us. Humans are like sponges. We are constantly absorbing knowledge and feeding our thirst with the waters of substance. Change can be so minute or at times so significant.
Even in the face of a distinctive event though, I am unable to comprehend the kind of ramifications that could occur to affect me. It is only through comparing who I am now to who I was before that I realize that, amazingly enough, I have changed. If I had to label myself, I’d say that I was your typical child; carefree, impatient and devoid of any form of stress or concern for anything. It was a mindless existence that I lived in through my childhood. Basically, I was ignorant and I wouldn’t have given a rat’s ass if anyone had told me that. My parents told me that as a child, I rarely cried, complained or asked for anything.
I was a laid-back child. School was not really something I thought of or tried at. I had my share of mischief accompanied by hordes of detentions and lectures, all of which I handled with complete apathy. Learning was an obligation that, fortunately, I just happened to do well at. Most of my days were spent on sports and other active forms of entertainment. One particular hobby that I remember from my childhood was catching dragonflies in my grandparent’s orchard. I used to cut off their wings and watch them drag their bodies along in an imbalanced posture. I didn’t really think of it as cruel.
Actually, I found it entertaining. In a way, I think of myself as the dragonfly now. I know that my wings can be cut off temporarily once in awhile and I’ll be the one under the scrutiny of people as I heave my heavy weight along. But I will find some inventive way to keep moving along. I know that I can be adaptive and resourceful. As a child, I already knew how to be blasé and casual about predicaments I might find myself in. So at a young age, I mastered the art of simply placing one foot in front of the other and always remaining composed, whether knee deep in trouble or trudging through six miles of boredom.
This sense of rationality has proved to be one of my most useful tools. I’m glad that I realized, so early in my life, that I am steady and independent enough to be confident. As a result of this realization, ambition grew. At times, school does not feel like such an obligation. Like a sponge, I’m at a stage where I want to soak up all the knowledge there is. I’m not so ignorant anymore either, though sometimes I wish that I could just turn my head in the other direction and walk away. For such an undaunted child, I’ve turned out to be so apprehensive and eager for experience and life.
There are hardly any challenges that I wouldn’t willingly take on. In the past two years, I’ve taken control of steering and directed myself to activities and experiences that I’ve never executed before. Instead of going to school, I took home school so that I could travel and do things that I normally wouldn’t be able to do if I was at high school. The many emotional and social factors that I underwent are what make up who I am and determine why I act or feel the way I do. I can be so passionate and trust in a conception such as equality in everything, with such conviction.
I don’t even know where I got half the ideas and principles that I have developed. I do know that that same nonchalance that was embodied in me as a child, is in me still. Only now, it contains neither ignorance nor laziness anymore. It is my way of coping and adapting. I have discovered that there is not always a solution to a problem but there is always an option and I try to make the best out of any situation. It is with this attitude that I go forth in life, with a willing smile and an eager approach regarding anything that might come. I have no idea what the future might surprise or attack me with.
Whatever obstacles I might come upon, I believe with confidence that I will be able to face it and still laugh. Just like those dragonflies, I will look at a situation where my wings are gone and the circumstance seems like it leads to nothing but a dead end. But unlike those dragonflies, I will not keep trying to flap wings which are gone and end up defeated out of disappointed. Using the practicality and resourcefulness that I possess, I will take initiative and squeeze the last positive drop out of a certain condition. So let the future come. No problem. My thirst will devour the sweet heart of this watermelon.
