Sure, actions speak louder than the words, but sometimes even your actions are as undetected as the words you speak. Amir could reconcile his wrongdoings in The Kite Runner, thus leading him to his journey for redemption. His past comes to look him the face, anxious by these past sins, he uses numerous means to redeem himself. However, he tries to rectify himself in the way that Rahim Khan had desired him to be. Though while analyzing the book in its entirety, Amir’s actions portray the contrary. As arduous and extensive as Amir’s journey was, ultimately, his actions reveal that he failed to atone for his sins.
After Hassan’s rape, Amir’s actions showed that he tried to justify himself but not being there for Hassan. His primary focus is not with amending his sins, but with ridding himself of guilt. Hassan had tried to rekindle their relationship multiple times by attempting to include Amir. so they would spend time as they once did. Amir, however, had denied these requests, causing more damage than he already had done. He had tried to run from his own guilt, not even giving Hassan the time of day out of a moral obligation. Not only did he refuse continuing his relationship with Hassan, but questioned Baba about getting new servants to replace him. Amir is inconsiderate of Hassan’s fragile situation, therefore hurting Baba by suggesting they get rid of his illegitimate son.
Amir’s overwhelming guilt has absolute control over him, and so he will do anything to free himself of it, or convince himself that he has. His remorse leads him to put his life before Hassan and Ali’s, therefore crushing his father’s feelings. His childish logic is the cause of him then going to frame Hassan, not understanding the dire consequences of his actions. Amir went as far as driving Ali and Hassan out of his life, just to alleviate his past actions. BY distancing himself from Hassan as much as possible, even going as far as to rob the lifestyle they had, he did not vindicate himself.
He thought that America would be his saving grace, where nothing could remind of his past mistakes. A place where no ghosts, no memories, no sins, existed. Amir was ready to embrace forgetting everything he had left behind, especially Hassan. Hassan was never even a priority to begin with. Even when Hassan had wrote letters to him, not once had there been a reply. Not once, had Amir tried to rectify his sins out of his own doing, it had to be at the strong influence of another.
Even though Amir does end up going to get Sohrab, it is clear that he originally set out to protect himself. He puts his own petty needs ahead of others, in this case an orphan, Hassan’s son. He had broken his promise to Sohrab, then leading him to attempt suicide. By betraying his promise, by giving him the possibility that his biggest fear could become reality, he had nearly become the death of a small orphan. Amir was to blame for the most part, he was insensitive and inconsiderate. Concealing the truth, refusing to help, and enlarging Sohrab validate that Amir has not worked towards rectifying his mistakes.
Throughout the book, Amir’s intentions as well as his actions were skewed. In his adult life, his actions were masked in righteous transparent intentions. Hassan’s rape sent him on a journey for redemption cloaked in overwhelming guilt and fear. Pressingly, we must understand how we cannot lie to ourselves in a pathetic way to justify our actions. Hurting those around with us opaque intentions does not make our actions hurt any less. Amir’s life, along with his relationship with Hassan, might have been drastically different, had he understood the importance of actions.
