Middle school – the place where you either have the best or worst memories of your teenage years – and for me, they were nothing to cherish. My friends became my worst enemies, everything I did became a mistake, I also became a victim of bullying. Everything that I once considered to be my greatest traits became my biggest flaws. Before Middle School, I was often told not to let negativity or negative people rent space in my head but all of that changed when I confessed my feelings to “him. ”
His name was Michael ________, he was blessed with the most beautiful dark brown complexion, his eyes, a light shade of brown, had an undefinable sparkle to them, and he had the perfect smile to go along with his tall stature. Everything about Michael was alluring to me and my determination to tell him how I felt was overwhelming. My plan was to write him a letter and have a friend take it to him because I was too shy to do it myself. This plan of mine ended up being a horrible mistake. “Today is the day”, I told myself as I walked onto Armstrong Middle Schools vast campus.
I had the letter in my hand, handwritten in my best cursive and enclosed in a tiny envelope that had “To Michael, From Jade” written on it. My good friend Jessica, whom I trusted to give to Michael and not to open, quickly swiped it out of my hand en route to complete the task at hand. As the day went on the anticipation of the outcome grew stronger and the little butterflies that I once kept quiet seemed to be fluttering around my stomach. As soon as the schools piercing dismissal bell rang I was the first one to the door, but when I walked out of class the atmosphere changed. “That’s her! ,” a few girls giggled as I walked past them.
Completely unaware of who this “Her” was, I kept walking in search of my friend Jessica and anticipating good news. I spotted Jessica adjacent from the schools only flight of stairs and the look on her face made my heart dropped. “I’m so sorry Jade,” she said solemnly as she handed me the crumpled up piece of paper. Just when it seemed like things couldn’t get any worse I opened the crumpled mess that I once treasured and noticed that he had written something in there. His words were cruel, they could have made the most confident person and secure person feel like a speck of dirt on the ground.
It all hit me at once, my eyes swelled and my face glistened with freshly shed tears. That one bad day was the beginning of it all and worse was still to come. After that day rumors spread and the whole school looked at me the same way Michael did, ugly, pointing out all of my flaws. “Hurtful words are sharper than knives, they exceed the flesh and go right through the heart. ” The embarrassment I had to endure for those two years still hides within me and every now and then I feel insecure and in doubt of my natural beauty. Till this day, the hurtful words of many of my peers still haunt me.
