I was less nervous on this particular Saturday than I anticipated. This is after all, the day that every woman dreams of, her wedding day! My head was intensely pounding from the previous night’s celebration. If I could give advice to any engaged couples- have your “last night out” parties weeks before the wedding! Luckily for me, my maid of honor anticipated how I’d feel, she put Tylenol and bottled water on my night stand. I took my time making my way downstairs, even though I could hear all of my family in the kitchen.
I had told them all several days in advance “It’s an evening wedding, sleep in and relax. No one should be stressed out. ” I tried to walk into the kitchen as nonchalant as possible, however as soon as my mother saw me she burst into tears! “Stop that! You’ll be a red, puffy eyed and red nosed in all the pictures. You better all get it out now before we go for hair and make-up at the salon. ” I said. You see, I was the last of 6 daughters to get married. My father passed several years ago and my grandfather passed the year prior, I was the last and only one walked down the aisle with my mother.
Once brunch was eaten and everyone had calmed their nerves, I suggested to relax in the sun. It’s not often that my family can all get together besides major holidays- this was such a blessing. We all lounged on the back deck where time seemed to pass in slow motion. Perhaps we were quietly bracing ourselves for the frenzy that would follow as the day progressed. All the women of the family, as well as my female soon-to-be in-laws headed off to the salon. Luckily for me this salon had a private room so I was able to have peace while everyone else sounded like school girls.
Thinking back, I believe some of them were more excited about my wedding than I was. Before anyone realized, time had started speeding by. We had been at the salon for five hours and my wedding was due to start in less than two! I decided to leave the salon with my maid of honor while the rest of the girls finished hair and make-up. As I walked downstairs and entered the room I had turned into what appeared to be a wedding boutique, it hit me! It was as if someone had punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me.
I started sweating and had the horrible watery mouth sick taste right before you vomit- it was horrible! I scanned the room, doing a mental checklist, and caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I froze, the woman in the mirror was someone I didn’t recognize. I am a simple girl- minimal make-up, ponytail, jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. The woman in the mirror was someone I didn’t recognize. With my hair pinned up in curls, glossy red lips and just enough eye shadow to enhance the blue in my eyes I was ready to put my dress on.
I wanted to be fully dressed, ready to walk down the aisle an hour before the ceremony was to start. Fortunately, my wedding crew returned in enough time therefore my mom could help me get dressed. I had my dress at my mothers for months, so no one could see it until today. I truly had forgotten how beautiful it was! I wore a white, A-line, hand embroidered wedding dress with a train and crystals sewn all over resembling fireworks. Looking in the full mirror, I had the same feeling as earlier, like the wind was sucked out of my body.
I couldn’t help but stare at my own reflection for what seemed like several minutes. At that moment I knew I would never feel better about myself. Never in my life have I felt as glamorous as I looked in the mirror that day. Not to sound like a cynic, I do not believe I will experience anything like it again in my lifetime. My wedding rings are now off, vows in front of family, friends and God have sadly been broken. Even through all the pain that followed this wonderful day, remembering seeing my reflection can still bring a smile to my face.
