I don’t know what I did wrong. I asked Amir agha, but he said I hadn’t done anything. I would have stopped doing it, then maybe father and I wouldn’t have had to leave. Before the kite tournament, Amir was my best friend, and we would always play together, but then he didn’t want me around any more. There was nothing I could do to rekindle our relationship, Amir agha wouldn’t let me. The last time I was properly with him, I really thought things might return to normal. We spoke like we used to; he told me about school and the teachers, but then he turned nasty. He started throwing pomegranates at me, screaming at me to fight back. But how could I ever do that to him?
I remember at his party, his thirteenth, he ignored me all night. And I had to serve drinks to Assef. I knew I had to act as though nothing had happened. After all, it was Amir’s night and I couldn’t ruin it for him. Assef hit me, in the chest. It was nothing compared to what happened last time I saw him, and it was dark, so once again no one saw. I am thankful for that.
After all we have done together; playing games and running in the streets, growing up together, I do not know what I have done for Amir agha to feel so angry at me. If feels as though I have lost my brother, as well as my best friend. There is nothing I would not do for him. I would eat dirt, if he asked me. We had planned to be friends forever, Amir agha and me. He’d even promised me he would buy me a television one day, and I would have kept it on the side where I keep all of my drawings. But that is no longer my home. My father plans for us to go and live with his cousin in Hazarajat. I am unsure as to what will happen to us then. Hopefully we will find a new master who is as kind as Baba sahib, although I am doubtful of that.
I feel responsible for everyone’s pain, now. It is my fault that Amir agha is upset. I did not want him getting in to trouble, for putting the money under my mattress, and although I cannot understand why he did that, I know if I did not take responsibility for it, he would surely be blamed. As he is my best friend, brother, and master, I had to say it was me. But now, my father is deeply hurt at the loss of Baba sahib, as they grew up together and he was such a good master to us. Baba agha begged father to stay, he even cried for him, and that is also my fault. If I had been better to Amir agha, he would still like me, and none of this would have happened.
I do not know what it was that made him hate me. It was after the kite tournament, and he won that, and I ran the kite for him. I know how much it meant to him, and I knew he wanted Baba to be proud of him, so I did everything I could to get him that kite. So why does he hate me? I don’t think he saw what Assef did. If he did, surely he would have stopped them. I would have, had the situation been different. But since then, since I handed over the kite to him, he couldn’t look me in the eyes. And now this. I feel betrayed by him, but if I knew what his reason was for it, then I am sure it would have been justifiable.
I will always hope for a time where he forgives me for whatever it is I have done, and we can be brothers once more. The Sultans of Kabul, again. Until then, I will wait for him, and pray that he is safe.
