Creative Writing: The Miller’s TaleThis is a true tale of me and my life, or at least for a short while. Theday had started out so well, you see I had become somewhat of a owner of women.
I was interested in this becomes because of the free jobs that came with it. Yousee because of my gorgeous looks the women had trouble seeing past it to thereal man in my pants, I mean in me. So why not just become an owner of women tosell to others for nightly jobs and such and reap the benefits of it all. Solike I said, the day had gone perfectly until one of my women came down with asudden case of the backdoor trots. He, he the ol’ hag almost released her loadof dung on one of my customers, so I had to get her and take her back home. WhenI got to the man’s house I entered in grand fashion by showing how I could openthe door with my head.
Oh well, that didn’t go over as planned but it scared mywoman so bad she finally did just let it go. Then, after cleaning it up we wereon our way out and back to home sweet home. When we arrived I got some greatnews that made the whole squirts issue fall back to the back of my mind. I gotword that the King wanted one of my women to get it on with him. So soon I gotthe prettiest woman I had. She had blond hair and a nice set on her, if I do sayso myself.
She all of her teeth except for three but in this time that’s notbad. I soon put on my Sunday best and headed straight for the castle in which tomeet the King himself. We came in the back just as told and soon were met bythree guards dressed in black and silver. They said to me, ” Wait here, the girlgoes with us.
” Well, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let these people not let mesee the King! When I asked they said, “Sorry but the King won’t allow it. ” Well,what could I do? Absolutely nothing is right. The King sure is a bum when itcomes to privacy and such. I sat outside the back entrance to the castle foralmost an hour. I was almost to the point of sleep when I heard the door open. She came out with a bit of a smile on her face.
We soon departed from the castle,she said nothing the whole way home. I kept asking her if something happened inthere that she wanted to tell me. Once, we reached my house she began to laugh. I was intrigued by this so I said, ” What is wrong with you?” She began to tellabout the King’s short comings.
I soon also began to laugh at this and went tothe bar down the way. I entered the bar in grand fashion as usual. The door wasespecially hard for some reason but maybe it was just me. No matter, I began todrink with my buddy from down the way by the name of Everett. I told him of myday and then he bought me a beer, then another, than another.
I soon began towonder why he was being so giving to me, but he was good friend and I thoughtnothing of it. The night pushed on and finally, I was so drunk I stole the moneyoff the man beside me to pay for some of my drinks and then staggered out and tomy house which was a few blocks down the road. The next morning I awoke to thesound of a rooster and a man laughing wildly outside my door. It was ol’ Jethrowand his pet rooster Cleetis. He greeted me by saying, ” Is it true, does theKing have a small one?” I replied with, ” What in God’s name are you talkingabout?” Last night at the bar you told everyone that one of your women said thatthe King was a little short of the mark.
“You’re joking, right?” “‘Fraid not,”he said. Well, at that moment in time I thought I had only two choices. Either Icould leave my business and the house or stay and face the wrath of the King. Well, the day passed on with more and more questions about the King and hiswhatever you would like to call it. I decided I’m a man, a very big man at thatso I decided to stay and face the King.
Hours and hours went by and no word fromthe King. I thought I was in the clear but as soon as I had thought such athought, someone began to knock at the door. I went in a sort of slow pace toget the door. Then, I opened the door and there stood seven knights and the King. At once I knocked the first one down with the use of my head, then the next twowith a swift kick to their families’ jewels. Three down and four to go.
Next, Ijumped upon one and rammed my fist into his face, but soon after this the otherthree grabbed me and held me tight to where I couldn’t get away. The King stoodbefore me and looked me over. After a while, he told the knights to release meand for me to step back inside. The King soon followed and we sat at my table inthe kitchen. He told me of a deal to sort the matter out. He would have a womanfor free anytime he requested or I could have my jewels in a jar.
Gladly, I tookthe offer and he parted with his knights and all was well. In the end I figuredthat the moral was to not to run your mouth unless you’re a pimp. English
