CH. 9 SEXUAL BEHAVIORS
Complete celibacy – a person who does not masturbate or have interpersonal sexual contact.
Partial celibacy- does not have interpersonal sexual contact, but still masturbates.
Celibacy or abstinence is an option until the person is ready for a sexual relationship- and becomes a positive act.
Religion/morals: becoming a priest or a nun includes a vow of celibacy, celibacy until marriage, personal criteria for a good sexual relationship has been met, have experienced sexual confusion or disappointment in the past
EROTIC DREAMS AND FANTASY
-mental experiences (books, drawings, movies, photos) ways to explore and express experiences, feelings, and desires.
Erotic dreams: dreams and orgasm may occur during sleep without a persons conscious direction. Can be logical or make no sense. Wake up with signs of sexual arousal-erection, vaginal lubrication, pelvic movements.
Nocturnal orgasm- involuntary orgasm during sleep
Erotic fantasy: happen during daydreams, masturbation, or sex with a partner. (Images to representations of past experiences)
Functions: source of pleasure and arousal during masturbation or sex with partner, overcome anxiety in a negative sexual situation, forbidden wishes, provide relief from gender role expectations
Male-female similarities and differences in sexual fantasy
1)frequency is similar for both sexes during sexual activity with a px
2)both men and women indicate a wide range of fantasy content
men- fantasies more active, focus on womans body and what he wants to do to it.
Woman- fantasies more passive, focus on mens interests in their bodies.
men- focus on explicit sexual acts, nude bodies
woman- more emotional context- romance
men- fantasize about multiple partners and group sex
woman- submission fantasies
Helpful and healthy aspect to sexuality
-Learning what feels good and what doesnt
-Learning what leads to sexual arousal and orgasm
-Developing erotic turn-ons and fantasies
-Relive sexual tension
-Can be a shared experience!
Who has PV orgasms? (no hands) 19% of females who do not masturbate, 26% of females who do.
You dont have to masturbate to have a good sex life.
Men masturbate about 3x more that females- more sexual, more learning
Kinsey- woman masturbate more after they reach their 20s than in teens because of an increase in erotic responsiveness, more opportunities for learning about self stimulation, and a reduction in sexual inhibitions
Ethnicity and masturbation: white men and women masturbate more than african american men and women. Hispanic woman have lowest rate. The higher the education level the more likely to masturbate. People living with sexual px more likely to masturbate than those living alone.
7 easy non threatening steps to learn self pleasuring
1)look at her own body in private
2)feel her own body
3)touch parts of body that feel arousing
4)try to get sexually aroused (use jellies)
5)extended masturbation- triggers: tighten legs and thighs, head of side of bed, water stimulation
6)male watches her masturbate
7)male imitates- listens to her and does what she likes and what feels good
-makes couples feel closer together!
She and her px can explore together
1)diff patterns of clitoral stimulation (circular, up and down, and back and forth)
2)diff levels of pressure: gentle-stronger- pulsing
3)the 3 finger technique (3-4-5) 3 weakest fingers
The frenulum for female split of each side of minor lips (little man in a boat) see pic.
4) oral stimulation- tongue is moist and too strong
Aspects of interactive sexuality
– Feelings, desires, and attitudes strongly influence choices about sexual activity.
-Sensitivity to you and your pxs needs will develop shared pleasure and arousal more effectively than any specific technique.
-Mutual consent- sexual activities that both pxs are willing to engage in are more likely to provide a couple with enjoyable sexual experiences.
Maltz Hierarcy- he sees sexual energy as a neutral force- the intent and consequences of sexual behavior can lead in pos or neg directions (married couples- can be passionate or spousal rape)
Positive: emotional openness, lovemaking experiences!
Level +1: positive role fulfillment
-religious or cultural duty; sex for reproduction
Level +2- Making Love
Level +3- Authentic sexual intimacy
-emotional openness and closeness; feelings of ecstasy
Sexual energy (ground zero)
Negative- sexual interactions may be upsetting or traumatic
Level 1 Impersonal interaction
-sexually transmitted diseases
-or well-being of self and other
Level 2 Abusive Interaction
-sexual dominance and coercion
Level 3 Violent Interaction
-sex used to express hostility
KISSING AND TOUCHING
Kissing: can be intense, erotic, profound
Touching: 1st and most important sense that we experience
-does not need to be directed to an erogenous area to be sexual- anywhere can enhance sexual intimacy. Pleasurable to both the receiver and the giver.