By Rebecca R
I sit in my room with a gun on my left and pills on my right. I sit and think is it worth living another day? Its a difficult question, which I think about every night. I look to my left, then to my right. I should have gone to sleep I tell myself, and hope tomorrow will be different. Its time just to give up! I try to think about something positive in my life but theres nothing to think of. Maybe the years I dont remember were good, but I doubt that. I turn to my left again and stair at the gun. The gun isnt loaded yet but I have one bullet sitting on the table waiting for this special occasion. Maybe it would be easier to take the pills. Its much quieter and clearer that way. But maybe I should leave HELL with a bang? But then again its not my style. My whole life I was quiet; I think that the suffering should end yes! I grab the bottle and open the lid. For some reason I pour the pills on the bed and begin to count them. Twenty-one. That should do it. I grab one pill and carry it towards my mouth, but I am unable to put it in. I place the pill back on the bed. I look up at the ceiling thinking. My neck begins to hurt, but it doesnt bother me Ill be dead soon. I start to wonder if my life would have been any different if God was a part of it. My neck begins to hurt more so I bring my head down and stare at the wall. As Im staring at the wall, I try to build up confidence to end it all. I never had any confidence. My misery will soon end. Why cant I just do it? The world will be better off with out me, one less useless person in the world. Hell cant be worse then this. I doubt anything can be worse then this. With that thought still fresh I grab the bullet off the desk. I deiced to play a little trick on myself there are 6 bullet holes and I have one bullet, I place the bullet in one of the six holes. I pull the tigger 3 different times but no luck. I never had any luck. Suddenly my luck changed, the gun went off on the forth attempt and the pain stopped.
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