It was a typical day as any other with the only exception that it was nearly 50 degrees in the middle of December. People were operating as they always due skating through their business day while they sip on their Starbucks and yell at someone on their cell phone. But hey, thats the world we live in, blank stairs, exchanging un-pleasantrys and so on and so forth.
Kids like me sit at tables trying to make some kind of pointless conversation with an attractive female while we stair into their eyes trying to figure out which words will get you laid up with them the fastest. All is moving fine until your plan is interrupted. Not by your game of course, never that, but by this bummy looking older man who decides to sit at the same table.
Do you need help with your chemistry homework? He asks my potential prey and points to her chemistry book that has been opened to the same page for the past 20 minutes.
He wears a look of confidence despite his tattered fashion and yellow teeth. Now I am not one too big on believing in stereotypes, however, I call it how I see it and he looked like a bum, point blank. He began to speak about the basics of chemistry while sipping on coffee heavily saturated in sweet and low. As he began to speak and shed light on this topic, he flipped the conversation to history and the lies weve all been told.
Everything he was saying I was familiar with, however I could tell he was shocking the female that was sitting across from me. At this point I realized that she had become a lost cause for the moment since she was very enthralled by our new acquaintance. In the midst of the truths he was speaking, he rambled a great deal as if he couldnt maintain a single thought long enough to fully explain it. He then began to denounce the importance of money, however he bragged about the diamonds from exotic countries that he owned.
He carried a paper bag that was pretty full. As he began to dig in it to as if to prove himself, he pulled out so called skins from different animals around the world. They were supposedly worth a great deal of money and he was carrying them since he was awaiting a business meeting. When he was posed with the question of how did he get them he would dance around the question and say something like the earth, everything is from the earth.
The more the man spoke, the more I thought he was nuts. All his extraordinary stories of hanging out with Puff Daddy, Jay-Z and J-Lo completely discredited the FEW truths he spoke of about history from the beginning of the conversation. In addition to this, it became quite apparent that he too had set his sights on the female that I was talking to. I guess people that are nuts even have good taste.
He began to try to sweet talk her by saying, your eyes are the window to your soul. This didnt make her melt, it just made her back up since she thought he tried to put a love spell on her. He began to talk about how they could hang out sometime and he could teach her the Chemistry that she was having trouble with. He insisted on buying her a cup of coffee and she declined every time.
He sat back, mumbled something about loving your self, and true existence, and dug in his bag once more. He pulled out two thin, 90-degree metal wires and stated, I can show you a portal. A portal? Yeah, a portal, a door to an alternate universe. He stated that the 2 metal wires were the basic tools needed to do this.
Hmmmmm, not so much. As if to prove he was for real, he spoke of his angelic language, his relation to Prince, and how he was the reason that Chicago was experiencing 50 degree weather in December. He began to defend his argument by saying Jesus was a black man. Ok,