This is a practise english essay for my year 9 exams. If you could give me as much critism as possible it would be much appreciated.
If you would like to give me tips your welcome to email me
“It was Mr Keating’s blatant abuse of position as teacher that led directly to Neil’s death.”
Welton was a dull and unexciting school before the highly qualified Mr. Keating came to Welton. Mr. Keating was a previous student and taught the boys many valuable lessons.
Neil made his own choices but Mr. Perry (Neils Father) restricted Neil doing what he loved. Mr. Keating taught the class to do their own thing; Neil had a passion for acting long before Keating came to Welton. Mr. Keating told the students to make the most out of life and not do stupid things but still be daring. Neil committed suicide because he felt trapped between his passion of acting and his fathers ambitions for him.
The reason Neil was unhappy in the first place is because he wanted to act while his father was focused on Neil becoming a doctor. Youre going to Harvard and youre going to become a doctor. Mr. Perry demanded when he took Neil home after the theatre play. Mr. Perry wants to live his ambitions that he never got through his son. But because he never cared to listen to Neil, he makes Neil suffer by not letting him do what he loves. The conflict between Neils passion for acting and Mr. Perry forcing Neil to become a doctor ruins Neils life. Keating never told Neil to follow acting and it was Neils Idea to avoid his father about it.
Keating told the class to strive to find their own voice, to break out and make their lives extraordinary. Neil had loved acting all his life. Im going be an actor, ever since I can remember Ive wanted to try this Neil yells as he jumps up and down with excitement. Even though Mr. Keating encouraged the boys to seize the day, it was no abuse as a teacher. Neil had loved acting as long as he could remember.
When Mr. Dalton nearly got expelled for writing in the school newspaper that Welton should have girls, Mr. Keating told him off. Sucking the marrow out of life doesnt mean choking on the bone. Keating tells Mr. Dalton in front of the DPS. Mr. Keating knows when something is stupid and daring. Mr. Keating takes the responsibility as a teacher to tell the boys what a stupid thing Mr. Dalton did.
In the end Mr. Keating is sacked. Neils father needs the guilt over Neils death off his conscience and the school needs a scapegoat to protect their reputation. It was Neils idea to deceive his father and follow acting; it had nothing to do with Mr. Keating. Neils passion for acting began long before Mr. Keating came to Welton. Mr. Keating didnt encourage them to do stupid things and when they did go too far he let them know. Mr. Keating was sacked as well as Mr. Dalton. Mr. Keating was going to get the blame as soon as they started to pin it on someone. He was vulnerable and the teachers had their suspicions. Mr. Keating did not abuse his position as a teacher and taught the class lessons they will never forget.