Topic: Domestic violence
What is domestic violence?
Domestic violence include sex abuse and intentionally or unintentionally use of physical force such as slapping, hitting and causing other injuries to your partner, children, friends, etc. A psychologist and law school professor, Mary Ann Dutton, who is an expert in domestic violence described it as “a pattern of behavior in which one intimate partner uses physical violence, coercion, threats, intimidation, isolation and emotional, sexual or economic abuse to control and change the behavior of the other partner.” (Taken from an article in www.womenslaw.org, by Valerie Despres)
These are actions considered as domestic violence:
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is a pattern of abusive behavior which keeps one partner in a position of power over the other partner through the use of fear, intimidation and control.
PHYSICAL ABUSE: Grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc. Denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use.
SEXUAL ABUSE: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact without consent, e.g., marital rape, forcing sex after physical beating, attacks on sexual parts of the body or treating another in a sexually demeaning manner.
ECONOMIC ABUSE: Making or attempting to make a person financially dependent, e.g., maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, forbidding attendance at school or employment.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Undermining a person’s sense of self-worth, e.g., constant criticism, belittling one’s abilities, name calling, damaging a partner’s relationship with the children.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: Causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner or children, destruction of pets and property, mind games or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work. (Source from womenslaw.org)
What are the causes of domestic violence?
There are many factors that lead people to use violence. They use violence when they are stressed, angry, feeling hatred, drink too much alcohol, use drug. Children are more likely to grow up as violent men if they are influenced by their parents, brothers, sisters and friends, all of whom use violence.
Culture plays an important role in domestic violence. For example in Asian culture or Asian American, parents usually hit their children when the children make mistakes or do not obey the parents’ orders.
Men are much more likely to use violence than women. In the USA, women are the victims of violence at rate of 5 times more than men. “About 95% of victims of domestic violence are women. Over 50% of all women will experience physical violence in an intimate relationship, and for 24-30% of those women, the battering will be regular and on-going.” (Taken from Valerie Despres’s article)
How to protect ourselves from becoming the victims of violence?
Violence occurs everyday; it can happen to us at any time and any place. It is important we know how to protect ourselves from becoming the victims.
-Do not use violence to others such as your brother or sister, children, friends. They would do the same thing to you.
-Do not use bad language in an argument and to someone who is trying to hurt you or use violence on you because it may stimulate more anger and they are more likely to hurt you more than they intended.
-Do not raise your voice too loud in an argument because it might lead to a fight. In Asian’s culture, men do not like people raising voice at them and they would hit people who do that to them.
-Running and seeking for help are better than fighting back if someone is attacking you.
-If you are out on a date, you should let someone know and you should also tell the person you are going out with that your friends or family know about your date. Do not go to quiet places if you are not ready to let your date touch you.
How to prevent violence?
Prevention is always better than if trying to protect yourself when you are in danger. In my opinion, it is better if we try to teach or raise children to become non-violence people than trying to change violent people to non-violent. If all children grow up as non-violent, there would be no domestic violence cases.
-Teach children at early age about violence and why it is bad.
-Do not let children use bad language, correct them in a nice way.
-Listen to children, do not try to control them, be fair to them.
-Do not express your anger on children, they will not understand it; they will take it as if you hate them.
-Be their model. Be their hero.