What is domestic violence? In this paper I will be telling you many
different forms of domestic violence. I will include the physical abuse,
abuse, verbal abuse, spiritual abuse, economic abuse, social abuse, and
emotional abuse. I will also describe the “cycle”, teen dating violence, and
women stay with an abusive partner.
Physical abuse takes many forms including hitting, punching, pulling
slapping, grabbing, biting, kicking, breaking bones, bruising, burning,
arms, throwing victims against walls and furniture, throwing objects and
weapons. It also includes damaging household goods, killing pets, and denial
human needs, like sleep and nutrition. Assault can be of a life-threatening
resulting in broken bones, miscarriages and other serious injuries. A
proportion of victims are threatened or assaulted with weapons such as
firearms and axes. Physical violence can result in murder and often leads to
serious physical injury. The injuries are not always obvious as abusers often
make sure the signs of their attacks are hidden under clothing. For many
there is a real and constant threat of death because of the seriousness of
Sexual abuse in the home is domestic violence. Sexual intercourse without
consent is sexual assault. Sexual assault may or may not involve physical
Sexual abuse is unwanted sexual contact. Many men still believe that they
the right to unlimited sexual access to their wives.
Verbal abuse consists of derogatory comments, insults and constant put-
downs. Lack of physical attractiveness, inferiority, inability to cope and
on her own and being told that she is not a good mother/wife/housekeeper.
Over time this constant humiliation will destroy a women’s belief in herself
severely affect her self-esteem. She begins to take on the abusive
as if they are real and therefore may start to believe that she’s worthless,
the violence is her fault. It must be kept in mind that responsibility for
violence lies solely with the perpetrator, not the victim. Threats are very
form of verbal abuse, aimed at terrorizing the woman to such and extent that
the abuser is in total control. Threats by a man to kill a woman if she
are often reported by victims of domestic violence.
Emotional abuse closely linked to verbal abuse, these behaviors are also
aimed at terrorizing the victim and stripping her of her self-confidence.
include destroying household/personal property deliberately
hurting/injuring/killing domestic pets, deprivation of essential personal
such as food, sleep, sanitary items ect. The power which they give in order
manipulate and intimidate the other partner. A range of behavior is involved,
including verbal abuse intended to destroy the other persons self-esteem. For
example, a perpetrator’s behavior may lead to his partner to believe she is
insane, stupid or useless. The effect is often cumulative, occurring over a
period of time with damaging consequences for the abused person’s sense of
Spiritual abuse describes the damage violence does to the spirit of those
who have been abused. For some women this cannot be equated with
psychological or emotional abuse. Spiritual violence is deeper than an
experience of betrayal: it involves the shame experienced when everyone in
community is aware of the violence, and when they too are implicated as
of the violence. Victimization may be based on race, color, or other forms of
identification with that community , and it includes the abuse suffered from
history of genocide or persecution.
Economic abuse this occurs where the man has total control over all
financial resources. For example, he may forbid the woman to work or if she
does he may insist that she hands over her pay check to him unopened. She
may have to beg for money to buy necessities and when it is given it may
be insufficient. She is then criticized for being stupid or incompetent in
provide adequately with this sum.
Social abuse includes delivering verbal abuse in front of other people,
such as put-down, jokes, criticisms about the woman’s weight, appearance,
sexuality, intelligence ect. Controlling behaviors such as following her to
controlling access to friends, constant phone calls at work or accusations of
imagined ‘affairs’ ect. Isolating a woman by denigrating her friends and
thus leading her to cut herself off because she fears enraging her husband,
locking the women in or out of the house, cutting off the telephone, never
her use the car ect. Social abuse is the constant monitoring and control of a
women’s activities, outings, and friendships. She may be forced to account
herself for her every movement, and my be denied the right to leave the home
and see her friends. The result for the abused woman can be public
and isolation from friends and other members of her family.
The Cycle Of Violence
PHASE 1: TENSION BUILDING
Poor communication / series of minor incidents / decreased control
Compliant / good behavior/ experiences/ increased tension/ minimizes
problems/ increases threats/ denies anger/ takes more control/ withdraws/
controls more/ tension intolerable
PHASE 2: ACUTE BATTERING
Increased stress and injury/ loss of control
Unpredictable, claims loss of control / is helpless, feels trapped / highly
PHASE 3: KINDNESS AND LOVING BEHAVIOR
Tension drops / Renewed love / Increased Tension
Often apologetic, attentive / mixed feelings / is manipulative / feels guilty
and responsible / promises changes / considers reconciliation
After the abuser has gone through all of the phases, it starts over again
with phase one and continues until the victim either gets help or is killed.
TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
FACTS & MYTHS
Myth: It can’t happen to me
Fact: More than 1 in 10 teenagers experience physical violence in their
Myth: Jealousy and possessiveness are a sign of true love
Fact: Jealousy and possessiveness are a sign that the person sees you as a
possession. It is the most common early warning sign of abuse.
Myth: Teen dating violence isn’t really that serious.
Fact: Thirty percent of all women who are murdered in this country are killed
by their husband or boyfriend. According to a Massachusetts study, that same
high percentage applied to teen woman, aged 15-19, as well. Also, 60% of all
rapes reported to rape crisis centers are committed by acquaintances, and the
majority of victims are aged 16-24.
Myth: Men are battered by women just as often as women are battered by men.
Fact: The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 95% of the reported
incidents of assaults in relationships are committed by males.
Myth: Alcohol causes a man to batter
Fact: Many men who batter do not drink heavily , and many alcoholics do not
beat their partners. Further, batterers who do drink don’t necessarily give
up battering when they give up drinking. While they are drunk, the alcohol
acts as their excuse.
Myth: Victims bring on the abuse themselves. They ask for it
Fact: Perpetrators believe they have the right to use abuse to control their
partner, and they see the victim as less than equal to themselves. The victim
has no control over the abuser.
Myth: If a person stays in an abusive relationship, it must not really be
Fact: People stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons: fear,
economic dependence, confusion, loss of self-confidence, not recognizing that
what’s happening is abusive, belief that the abuser needs their help or will
Myth: Most batterers are bums or crazy people.
Fact: Batterers are found in all classes and types of people: rich, poor,
professional, unemployed, black, white, urban, and rural.